Tomorrow, August 8, is World Cat Day and I hope you humans already have everything you need to give your cats a day to remember. But — knowing, humans — I am sure a few of you are unprepared, so here is a suggested list of activities, in chronological order.
5:45 a.m. or earlier: Breakfast time! But not the usual boring kibble or blah can o’ whatever. World Cat Day requires world-class fare: chicken soufflé, duck frittata with crème sauce and the like. Don’t worry, it does not have to be elaborate. One really spectacular dish is sufficient for breakfast.
6:30 a.m.–10:45 a.m.: Naptime for your cats, but no rest for you — this is when you hide all the new toys you got your cat for the afternoon’s treasure hunt.
10:45 a.m.: Laundry time! It does not matter whether the clothes and bed sheets need cleaning or not, this is for the cats’ benefit. First pile up the dirty laundry so they can sniff it and bury themselves in it, if they are so inclined. Then wash and dry the clothes. As soon as the clothes are out of the dryer, put the full laundry basket out so the cats can wallow in the nice, clean laundry.
12:45 p.m.: Snack time! You, of course, have stocked up on your cats’ absolute favorites, and thrown in a few surprises for good measure, such as fresh turkey or ham. If you are really creative, maybe you can capture a live bug or two. Your cat will be delighted.
1:00 p.m.–1:30 p.m.: A quick nap before the afternoon festivities. For the cats, that is. You need to double-check all the hiding places for the treasure hunt.
1:30 p.m.: Treasure Hunt time! Your cats get to search through the whole house to find all the awesome toys you hid. I hope you wrapped most of them, because tearing open the paper is the best part of the gift. You will join in by playing with the cats every time they find a toy, and end each session by tossing or leading the toy to the next hiding spot as a hint. This should keep you all busy for a couple of hours.
3:30 p.m.–5:30 p.m.: Naptime for the cats, while you prepare the gourmet menu you have planned in advance.
5:30 p.m.: Tuna juice and appetizers — may I suggest skewered shrimp and crickets, sprinkled with catnip?
6:00 p.m.: Suppertime! This should be the highlight of the day, so pull out all the stops! A turducken would not be out of place. A roast pig would also be appropriate. If this is a little outside of your culinary capabilities, you can go simple but elegant with something like pan seared salmon with avocado remoulade.
7:00 p.m.–8:00 p.m.: Naptime for the cats while you bring out the pièce de résistance: the brand new floor-to-ceiling cat tree you have bought for the occasion.
8:00 p.m.: Present your cats with their new cat tree. Now it is time for you to retire to another part of the house and let your cats enjoy themselves in private. They have had enough human interaction for the day.