Trigger Warning: Suicide
You can’t save them all. They say this about cats and other creatures in need of rescue — but it’s also true about people struggling with mental health issues. Sometimes there are things beyond your control, and beyond theirs. And there is no blame, only tears — and gratitude for the gifts they did leave in the short time they were here.
Ashley Morrison was a kind and incredible young woman who made a big difference in cat and kitten rescue, both in the Pacific Northwest, where she lived, and on the internet where she was known as the “Youngest Old Cat Lady.” Ashley worked very hard for TNR and low cost spay and neuter, and began programs that really made a difference. Things like the “mom’s last litter program,” where she took in pregnant owned moms, fostered their kittens, and returned the moms spayed when they were done parenting. One look at her Instagram, or that of her nonprofit rescue, Ashley’s Kitten Academy, shows you what magic she had with these babies, including the wild, homeless ones. She had hundreds of thousands of followers and admirers on social media. She was a bright light and an inspiration in rescue.
But there was a side of Ashley that, while she opened up about it publicly, she didn’t go into detail. She did mention her mental health struggles, and her own father’s suicide. But her social media focused on her mission, which was rescuing cats and kittens. It was her passion, and her life’s purpose.
Last week, Ashley ended her own life, and before she did, she scheduled a post on social media to publish a few days after she was gone. She did this to give her family and friends time to cope with her death before the whole internet knew, and quite possibly, so nobody could stop her.
When people die by their own hand, some may accuse them of being selfish or cowardly. This is never the case. Usually they fought against all odds to overcome their darkness. They worked twice as hard at the endeavors they care about in an attempt to make a difference during whatever time, short or long, they had here on earth. And quite often, there are chemical issues that the medical community hasn’t yet completely solved. According to her mother’s statement on Instagram (she is known there at @youngestoldcatgrandma), the latter seems to have played a part in her demise. Combined with the stresses of rescue, compassion fatigue, and being an online lightning bolt for bullies and trolls (as rescue people often are), it’s overwhelming.
The rates of suicide are especially high in rescue and the veterinary professions. The only people that truly understand why are the ones that actually do it. It’s worse than backbreaking work. It can be heartbreaking work. And so, so under appreciated.
What can you do if someone is struggling? As a friend, acquaintance, or even just as someone who follows them on social media? You can do this:
Know you can’t save them all. But you can be a light in their darkness, a spark of hope that may just be temporary — or a turning point. You don’t know which, so you just do what you can. Either way you’ve made a difference. You have made a difference. Always remember that. So never, ever stop reaching out. Love…and let go.
If you ever considered donating to Ashley’s Kitten Academy, or want to express your gratitude for Ashley’s work, you can make a donation to Lynwood Feral Cat Spay and Neuter Clinic.
Ashley, where ever you are, I hope you know how deeply you were — and are — loved.
This is so beautifully written. Ashley will be sorely missed but I hope she is as peace and with her father. I wish strength and comfort to her family and friends, especially her mother, who has lost so much.
Thank You for this tribute to Ashley.. I did not know her personally.. But I followed her as many did.. Let us remember her for all the wonderful things she accomplished in life & rescue.. I hope she knew how loved she was.. She was an earth Angel . Thank You Ashley,, For everything.. Rest Peacefully now,,️️️️️️
I started following Ashley on Instagram during the early days of the pandemic when everything was so scary and unknown. Her videos kept my spirits light – who would have thought I’d eagerly be following her livestream of a cat giving birth? I loved the kitten voice track she’d give – I will never forget her saying “Wayyyyyynnnne” to kittens Wayne & Wilma. She brought so much joy to so many people (and countless cats). When I saw her last IG post where it said that “this is a scheduled post” – I knew it was too late. And yet I keep hoping this is all some horrific mistake. I have read many beautiful tributes to Ashley, but this one was absolutely beyond wonderful. Thank you for taking the time to compose and post. She touched so many lives but 31 years here on Earth was not enough – I wish she were still here but I hope she did find the peace & reunion with her deceased father that she so much wanted to see again. Thank you Ashley for everything.
This is so sad.
This is indeed very sad.
A great loss to humanity and to all creatures that benefitted from her undoubted kindness. Life is the most precious thing we have, and so hurting another or indeed onself, is a bad thing indeed. I think someone once said of suicide that whilst something has to go, it is not oneself. Her good works will indeed have created such good karma, I hope her rebirth is as kind. Until then, we must reflect on what this means and help others so this does not happen again or the situations that create such thoughts do not occur.
ERin & Mrs H
This is so incredibly sad. I understand though.
That’s devastating. I struggle with mental health issues. Sad to admit I have thought of taking my life many times. It’s a horrible struggle. So many just don’t know the overwhelming pain one can be in. There’s no magic little white pill. I hate to admit that Princess once saved my life. I was on the floor with a bottle of pills and a bottle of vodka and was sobbing in desperation. Princess climbed on me and started howling in my face. She repeatedly patted my face with her paw. I looked into her big green eyes and realized that although she was an incredibly intelligent girl, she really needs specialcare that no one else would provide except me. She’s 13 now and I pulled her out of a kill shelter when she was 3. I hope anyone can learn from my experience. A cat saved my life
Bless you and your kitty Proncess. I hope you are having a good day today. You and Princess continue to take care of each other ❤️
We are so much more than the sum of our darkest days. Our two- and four-legged family is keeping Ashley in our hearts and will remember her as a light in the world that burned brightly, if not for nearly long enough. <3
I did not know this lady but your words are hugely important and I wish I could have been a hand on her shoulder, the help she needed.
Thank you.
So well written. I followed Ashley for many years and her posts brought me so much joy – I laughed at her voices and her mischievous side (particularly those posts where she’d “answer” some of the trolly messages she’d receive). When I saw her post, sometime in the minutes after it went up, I felt a mental clumsiness, like I couldn’t figure out what I was reading, and once I did, I couldn’t understand that it could be true. I’d seen her posts about her fight with mental illness but I guess in light of what happened with her dad I just didn’t see this as a real possibility. She must have been in so much pain to do this. I think of her mom, and hope there are other family members who can support her right now, the pain she must be enduring, it’s unimaginable. I hope Ashley is at peace.
This is an incredibly beautiful tribute. I’m sad to say I wasn’t familiar with Ashley until reading the news yesterday. What a tremendous loss of a beautiful soul.
Very sad news even though i nver meet her only though rescues groups there is a special place in heaven for you Ashley may you rip
So Sad!!
I had followed Ashley’s wonderful gift of rescuing for many years, and I just gasped when I saw her post on IG. I thought it can’t be! I know she just went through GB surgery, and I know from experience that going under aesthetic can cause more problems in brain chemistry. (Ask anyone dealing with Parkinson’s patients or other brain disorders). It was just a sad thought that went through my mind. I know she had talked about her own mental health struggles and something she had been battling hard recently. We all lost. Including specifically her own Mother who must be must be overwhelmed. My thoughts too were of her own cats, especially Blossom. I’m hoping her Mom took them in. I think often enough, Social Media is not what you think it is, and even when someone looks like they have the perfect life they don’t. YOU will be missed Ashley, and while you were here for such a short time you made a HUGE difference. Be at peace now.
That is such sad news. XO
Thanks for this post. Those of us who help community cats know what an emotional rollercoaster it can be. So many things are out of our control and there is only so much any one person can accomplish in a given day. I can only imagine how especially challenging that can be for a person — however committed and talented — dealing with clinical depression. I wish Ashley had been able to feel the love and admiration she and her work inspired.
Mee-yow poor sweet Miss Ashley! May her name bee fore a Blessing.
Fore one so young; shee did so much an saved so many catss an kittss.
Iss furry furry sad. An it seemss there iss an eppydemick of Depression an Mental Unwellness happenin all over North America.
BellaSita Mum has Clincal Depression (since she was 15 an dye-agnosed). Shee had gone efurry Decade fore Counsellin an was doin bettur just beefore Covid hit.
Let mee meow now NO ONE will help @ Hospital or Mental Health Agenciess as shee iss called a “Historical’ case an diss-missed.
Shee struggless so much. An shee understandss WHY peepell take their own livess….
An mee prayss shee nevurr does while mee iss heer…….
***purrss*** BellaDharma an 🙁 BellaSita Mum
Rescue is just so damn hard at times. It is SO MUCH more work than the average person realizes. It is very time consuming, expensive, exhausting both physically and fiscally! So much so that I cannot even imagine how crippling it could get to be when dealing with mental health issues and chronic depression.
My husband and I started out helping as many cats as we could back in our early 20s and are now in our mid 50s. This was back when some of the shelters had no rescue help at all. Lots of Mom cats with nursing kittens went to the gas chambers. I’ll never forget going to animal control with the mindset of rescuing 2 but coming home with 13 because there were three Mom cats with kittens about to be gassed and we just could not let that happen. It was hard. The cost, the medications, the mess, the cleaning. A HUGE commitment.
Things are better now with more involvement, but it’s still hard and the compassionate fatigue syndrome can be gutting and debilitating. My husband and I have taken a back seat as we have done our part and it is now someone else’s turn to carry the torch. But I do relate to the Ashley Morrisons out there. It is SO HARD. I’m so sorry Ashley that life was just more than you could bear to stay. You did SO MUCH good. Godspeed.
Love reading her story about coming back with 13!
The entire rescue community here in Seattle is gutted. Many people throughout the area knew Ashley and what she did to help cats and kittens. I never personally met Ashley, but she was a hero to all of us.
I am so very sad to hear about Ashley. She did wonderful work and it is a tremendous loss. May she rest in peace and I hope that someone else will do their best to continue with helping those in need.
That’s utterly heartbreaking. Ashley made such a difference for so many cats and people.
This is so terribly sad. I did not know of her work, but it sounds like she truly made a difference in the lives of so many cats. My heart goes out to her friends and family.
That is indeed very sad.
Purrs,
The Chans
Thank you for bringing this to our attention Summer.
As a depressive myself, I can’t tell you how many times my cats have saved – or at least helped me !
Imagine the welcome she got when she crossed the Bridge.
Both humans and cats lost an important being…very, very sad.
This is so incredibly sad. Ashley did so much for cats.
This is so sad. She sounded a wonderful person who did so much to help during her lifetime. I hope she has now found peace. RIP, Ashley.