As we get closer to Cat World Domination Day (also my birthday), I thought you kitties might enjoy this list of things that prove World Domination is already ours. You know all this, of course, but I wanted to give you a chance to glory in it:
1. The internet. We are all over it.
2. Laps. We decide to sleep on them and it renders humans immobile.
3. Cat strollers. Not that all of us would want to have one, but the very fact that they exist proves that humans will go the extra mile to serve us.
4. How many commercials have you heard in the past six months or so that refer to watching “cute cat videos?” It seems like every time I turn around, there’s a new one. Cars, medical insurance, we’re taking over their advertising!
5. The “crazy cat lady” thing. Humans try to use it against us, which is only proof that they are running scared. The idea of large numbers of cats in one place threatens their false sense of control.
6. We don’t need opposable thumbs because we have convinced humans to do our bidding. Clearly, the thumb thing is highly overrated.
7. There is actually no such thing as a cat trainer. These so-called cat trainers merely find out what we cats enjoy doing and give us treats for doing it! That’s what I call a win-win. I’m sure the human servant to the Rock Cats will agree with me.
8. We inspire worship merely by napping in a sunbeam.
And the most telling…
9. The litter box. We pee and poop, and the humans take care of the rest.
Any others you’d care to name?
And remember to pick up your official Cat World Domination Day badge!