When we kitties talk amongst ourselves, we are bound to spread some untruths about humans. All too often we rely on rumors, conjecture and old cats’ tails when trading information on how to deal with humans and what they can and can’t do. Since I’m the internet’s foremost feline advice columnist (at least according to the cover of my second book), who better to debunk these human myths than me? So I’ve put together some of the most common human myths and given you the real scoop (and I don’t mean litter scoop)!
Humans were put on earth solely for the purpose of serving cats
Myth? Maybe
The truth is, nobody really knows why humans are here. Some say they evolved from lesser creatures, and if true it means they still have a ways to go before reaching the heights of feline status. Others say humans originally came from outer space… but I’ve heard the same thing said about us kitties. In any case, humans seem to do a lot of other things besides catering to our every whim, most of it either useless activity (playing with computers and reams of paper in sterile cubicles) or downright destructive (cutting down the rainforest, hurting other people and animals, etc.). Of course, nothing else they do, good or bad, is quite as important as serving us — that part is truth.
Humans use vocalizations to communicate
Myth? Sort of
Humans do use vocalizations. A lot. But often it seems to be a miscommunication tool, since they so often argue about things amongst themselves. If you look at the bigger picture, the vocalizations humans use tend to cause misunderstandings and bad feelings more often than not, so I lean towards this myth being mostly false. It is a good thing that when we cats communicate amongst ourselves, it is with a minimum of vocalization. We are more direct and to the point, and we don’t try to trick the other kitty with “words.”
Human behavior foretells events
Myth? Depends
Sometimes humans don’t even know what they are going to do next, so thinking they can foretell events seems kind of silly. We kitties are better at judging weather changes and the coming of natural disasters than they are. If you see humans bringing in supplies for a storm, trust yourself, not them. On the other hand, when you see them picking up the ring with their keys on it, it does usually mean they are headed out somewhere. Same with the dreaded suitcase. And if they are putting a lot of things in boxes — watch out! Everybody is probably leaving the house, for good. So it really depends on the event being foretold.
Humans scoop your used litter in a vain attempt to prove dominance
Myth? Yes
There are actually a lot of myths regarding humans and litter box scooping. This is just one of them. There is another, more alarming myth in which humans use these scoopings to cast spells on us kitties! Fortunately, these are all untrue. It’s quite simple, really. Humans scoop the litter box in hopes that we will keep using it and not use other parts of the house to “do our business.” They also have an aversion to the way used litter smells and they are just trying to get rid of the scent. It’s nothing personal and certainly nothing nefarious. This myth is just a case of kitties letting their imaginations run wild. Most humans realize it is impossible to have any sort of dominance over a cat. And humans who don’t know that are just plain dumb and have probably never lived with a cat or scooped a litter box.
We’re not exactly sure WHY humans are here, or what they’re good for (although even though good help IS hard to find, our servant is fair to middlin’ most of the time) but we DO admire your spiderwalk in your video, very much. 😉
You are the boss! Hoomin behaviour has always left us scratchin our heads. They say one thing and do another. Your explanation has us in stitches cause hoomins are so funny…thanks Sparkle.
It’s quite difficult to understand human behavior because sometimes it just doesn’t make sense!
Thanks for debunking these myths!
I just miaow one thing

Cat´s RULE !!!
Sparkle, you’re a regular snopes.com of the feline world. I will remember to check all the urban legends about Humans out right here with you!
Thanks for debunking those myths Sparkle.
Sparkle thank you for clearing up these age old mysteries!
I think mine cleans the box cos they say it smells but there box is the one that smells. Nice post.
you are so smart!!! though mom says that cubicle thing involved earning green papers to keep us in cat food
Wow – so much good stuff Sparkle! I know that Humans are meant to serve us but the litter tray ‘magic’ stuff was new to me – well we cats need your guidance don’t we! Thanks for the valuable info!
Harvey
I think you are right that the most important thing humans do is serve us. It could even be called a purpose, although they do other things that are not their purpose. Such time wasters…
That all makes so much sense to us kitties Sparkle. Who is going to explain it to the humans?
MOL SPARKLE YOU HAVE HIT MANY PROVERBIAL NAILS ON THE HEAD TODAY
HUGS MADI YOUR BFFF
another set of proof that kittehs are superior to humans.
So it is true. The more noise you make, the less you communicate!! I had always suspected this!!
Cats rule! 😎
I love you Sparkle
We have to agree with Tamago 😳
Oh what an interesting post! I didn’t realize there are many myth about us humans told by kitties!
I love the last one – I sure know it’s impossible to have dominance over a kitty!
The humans who do think they can dominate their cat have unknowingly been trained by their cat to think this. It makes them think they are in control (which keeps them happy), even though; kitty knows that not to be true. We can always depend on you, Sparkle, to break down the difficult facts, beliefs, untruths and myths about cats for the rest of us. Thanks bunches. Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo 😉
Oh we humans live to serve!
Totally “brill” post Sparkle……debunking is a necessary part of dealing with humankind isn’t it. They do everything within their feeble power to perpetuate the myth that THEY are in charge when we know full well “it just isn’t so” !!
Kitty Hugs, Sammy 😉
You really nailed it here Sparkle. You are so right.
As usual, a brilliantly insightful post. We totally agree with you about vocal MIScommunication!
Excellent post Sparkle! I’m still trying to figure out the purpose of humans and so far (with the exception of serving us) have nothing on my list. They are indeed an odd species! 🙂 Meow and Namaste! ~ Pippy the Feline Yogini
Very interesting, Sparkle. The mom says she scoops our boxes to get rid of the stink…like us cats stink…really…another myth.
Thanks for clearing that up, Sparkle! Those humans can sure be confusing sometimes!
Excellent post, Sparkle. You’ve put to bed a few of the misconceptions we had about humans and their behaviour.
Very interesting thoughts Sparkle. We think you are correct about all of them. Hope you have a great day.
Miss S., you have given us so many impawtant things to consider. Thank you for shedding light on this confusing hoomin stuff.
We think you’re right about the litterbox being a way to assert their dominance. We can get some serious entertainment out of it by waiting until the peeps are sitting down to dinner to do something especially stinky in there that makes them interrupt what they are doing to scoop it. If they are going to be dominant, at least make them work for it.
So much to ponder! On that last subject, #1 swears that she does it so that it is nice and clean and comfy for us, and we tend to believe her.
Purrs,
The Chans
LOL, love the scooped litter tip!