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You are here: Home / Kitty Wisdom / Little Known Cat Rules for Humans

Little Known Cat Rules for Humans

January 28, 2010 By: Sparkle Cat14 Comments

Some human misbehavior has come to my attention. Since humans are fond of the saying, “ignorance of the law is no excuse,” they should know that the same goes for Cat Rules. But just to make things perfectly clear, I will post some of the rules that have recently been broken. I hope this clarifies any misunderstanding.

Honestly, these rules should go without saying!Rule #32: Humans rub feline bellies at their own discretion; cats are not responsible for the results.

Rule #47: Anything left on the kitchen counter unattended automatically belongs to any and all resident cats.

Rule #75: Cats must always test the laundry before it is put away; they are the only ones who are qualified to judge whether it has been properly washed and dried.

Rule #158: If a cat has deemed a particular box to be a suitable toy, the box must not be discarded under any circumstances unless replaced by a box of equal or greater value.

Rule #377: If a human makes a tuna melt sandwich before feeding the cats, said cats are entitled to the tuna melt sandwich.

Rule #394: Cats are allowed to gnaw on human ears, but it is never permissible for a human to gnaw on a cat’s ears.

Rule #1561: It is permissible for a cat to accept a bribe. It is not permissible for the human to expect any results from said bribe.

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Comments

  1. Chaotic Cat says

    October 21, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    My human slave always keeps forgetting these rules! Especially #32 & 47

    Reply
  2. Snowball and Cheetoes says

    July 11, 2010 at 7:35 am

    Pawsome rules Sparkle! =^..^= mew!

    Reply
  3. Jen says

    January 31, 2010 at 1:21 am

    Thanks for the info Sparkle, and also for starting my day off with a laugh and a smile :o)

    Reply
  4. Fui, Suey and Ronny says

    January 29, 2010 at 2:56 am

    Sparkle, can you sit your mum down for a talk? There is a lot she could learn from you!

    Reply
  5. Margaret (Nanny Goats) says

    January 28, 2010 at 7:41 pm

    LOL!

    Rule 1561??? Jeez, how many rules do you cats have?

    Also – I was surprised the other day when a friend’s cat let me rub his belly because every cat I grew up with hated it. And would chomp on your arm to let you know it.

    Reply
  6. BeadedTail says

    January 28, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    Those are pawsome rules and furry true! We especially like #75 when the laundry is nice and warm!

    Reply
  7. rumblepurr says

    January 28, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    Man, so true!! Daddy is always forgetting Rule #47 and then gets surprised when the ham/chicken/prawns are not there when he gets back…

    Reply
  8. Cat Lady Diary says

    January 28, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    Thank You for posting these, it’s important for people’s to be reminded!

    Reply
  9. D-R says

    January 28, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    Thank you for clearing that up.

    Reply
  10. Roni The Brat says

    January 28, 2010 at 2:48 pm

    Dear Sparkle Cat, great Rules! It’s amazing, isn’t it the things you have to spell out for humans?!!?!

    Reply
  11. Catline Crew says

    January 28, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    Yay for Cat Rules! – CATS RULE!!!

    Reply
  12. Glogirly & Katie says

    January 28, 2010 at 11:36 am

    Dear Sparkle,

    Great rules to live by… Glogirly, my girl, could stand to review a number of them! Particularly #1561. I’d really love to post these and the 1554 other rules somewhere in the house, but I don’t like tape.

    mew!
    Katie
    (Glogirly’s cat)

    Reply
  13. Marg says

    January 28, 2010 at 10:08 am

    Those are great rules. We certainly like them all and we are going to print them up and post them where our humans can be sure to read them everyday. Thanks for drawing up that list.

    Reply
  14. Melvin and Zoey at Mouchois says

    January 28, 2010 at 8:37 am

    I think my human needs to work on listening to rule #32, rule #47 doesn’t apply in our house because Zoey doesn’t quite realize that she can jump and I’m too squatty to jump up, and rule #377 is my life motto.

    Reply

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