I know many of you cats have humans who are making New Year’s resolutions that they firmly intend to follow. These are probably the same New Year’s resolutions they made last year (and the year before), and you know how that turned out. I know you don’t want your humans to face another year of abject failure. It makes them sad, grouchy and not much fun to be around. So this time, why don’t you lend a helping paw to make sure they actually stick to what they’ve promised themselves? I know they will be eternally grateful to you.
The Dieting Resolution
Humans are always failing this one, so it is up to you kitties to watch what they are eating. This starts right in the kitchen, the moment your human comes home from the grocery store. Go through her bags and pull out and destroy anything with bread or sweets in it. This is easily enough done — just chew through the wrapping and pull the soft, sticky stuff out with your paws. If your human wrestles the packages away from you, don’t worry. You can use your finely honed sense of smell to locate the offending items later.
The Quitting Junk Food Resolution
This is a fun one for kitties because junk food usually means hamburgers and fried chicken. Any time your human weakens and brings some home, just leap right up and take it from his guilty hands! Once you have it in your jaws, race under the bed or somewhere else that is hard for humans to reach and enjoy a few bites. By the time your human is able to get the burger or drumstick away from you, it will be disgusting (at least in human terms), and he will probably just chuck it. What if it’s something not as exciting, like a bag of potato chips? Well, the crinkly bags are fun, so you can always carry them off (still mostly full, of course), and use them for play.
The Exercise More Resolution
The only way to get most humans moving is to make them! Here is a great way to help them practice their agility and flexibility: hide under the bed or in some really tight, hard to reach spot and start howling like you are feeling sick. Your human will panic and do everything she can to crawl underneath wherever you have placed yourself. The moment she has almost gotten to you, run out and hide under something else to make her do another rep. Here is one that will get her moving fast: locate where she is, then start hacking loudly a couple of rooms away, like you are about to vomit! She will come running, especially if you picked a room with a valuable rug or delicate floor surface.
The Get Organized Resolution
Sometimes you have to goad your human into action, and this is probably one of them. If you live with a messy slob who wants to change his ways, you may have to make things even more disorganized first — jump on stacks of papers and knock them off desks, drag dirty laundry down the hallway, knock unwashed dishes to the floor. While your human is picking things up, it may occur to him that this is the perfect time to start straightening up! Oh, and hacking works here too — if your human does not want you to throw up on his things, he will be compelled to do something about putting them out of your reach.
The Spend More Time With Family Resolution
This one is easy — just lie on top of your human until she has spent sufficient time with you.
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As usual, you have great advice Sparkle.
It helps our humans and we get to enjoy the process 🙂
Heh,heh,heh!
Purrs Georgia and Julie,
Treasure,Tiger and JJ
and Angel Tillie
Excellent advice, as usual!!!!
Those are some terrific ways to get the human back on track. We especially like the one about getting under the bed but the problem with our Person is that if she gets down to get us out from under the bed, she can’t get up again. Not good. LOL Have a super day.
We are going for the “feed us more regular-like” (and more often) resolution.
We never thought of that Sparkle – when Mum’s out of the way we’ll discuss tactics.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
Thanks Sparkle.
I, Madi, resolve to more delicate when dining. Mom says sometimes I eat like a piggy….
Hugs Madi your bfff
All great suggestions, Miss S. Hoomins really do need our help with everything. It’s exhausting but… worth the effort. After all, they are OUR hoomins.
These are really good suggestions!!! We believe the “hack anywhere” works for almost any situation!!
The Florida Furkids
These are excellent ways we can help our humans stick to those resolutions. Unless they are like the mom who never makes any!
Pawesome advice, Sparkle. We especially plan to follow the hacking in another room advice. That not only gives the peeps exercise, it also gives us entertainment to see them come running!
That really is good Sparkle, if humans would only resolve to listen!
these are great Sparkle but we like INTENTIONS 😆 leaves the human room to waffle
mol! those are great ideas, Sparkle! we can even combine the quitting junk food and exercise more resolutions: after making off with the food, run around a bit to allow a good chase and exercise for the human 🙂 you know, even if a human doesn’t make resolutions, we can employ these tactics and make them feel like they are accomplishing something 😀
Pip, Smidgen, Minnie, Hollie
The Exercise More Resolution cracked me up…
Very good advices Sparkle! Mum doesn’t take resolutions, but we’ll try to make her do more exercise, it’s always good for human health. Purrs
It’s about time somecat wrote a blog from our point of view! Any advice on how to get humans to leave you be when you are on their nice warm keyboards?
My human gave up resolutions. I resolve to make her pay more attention to me!
:smile:Sparkle, you are so wise and also beautiful.All the very Best to you, and the super human you have in 2014 .
Oh Sparkle, these resolutions except the last one are very difficult to keep. But with kitty help, I may be able to accomplish!
Great ways to help your humans Sparkle <3
Sparkle, we may have to push the ‘print’ button and leave a copy on our desk for our mom, she needs lots of direction!
Mindy
Moe
Cookie
Mik
My peeps can’t be trusted with the makin’ of the resolutions so I made a list for them. Hope they keep ’em!
Purrs,
Nissy
Those are brilliant Sparkle! Your human must be in super ship shape!
excellent suggestions!! i’ll take the lying on my human one to heart. – Crepes.
Good suggestions Sparkle. I will use them to try and keep my human on the straight and narrow.
Mum was thinking tick, tick, tick to all of your great suggestions Sparkle.
Happy New Year!
Julie and Poppy Q
xxx
We think there needs to be a ‘give us more treats’ resolution.
Yeah.
Hope you ladies are saving me some NYE SMOOCHIES…
Those are some good ideas I especially like the last one I do this with lap time as she is remiss to move when lap time. I will do it lots lots more in 2014.
Great suggestions, Sparkle! We are now ready to help our humans keep there resolutions!
My humom hates to get up when one of us kittehs lays on top her..She says that we just looks so comfy..I thinks it is just a excuse to do nothing..but I don’t mind cause she IS so comfy.. 😉
My Human has just about given up on resolutions. Can you help ME make a resolution for MYSELF?
I think kitties should tell their humans not to make any New Year’s resolutions. Humans seem to fail at them so much that they only make them sad.
These are excellent, Sparkle! I particularly like the yowling-like-you’re-going-to-be-sick-in-the-most-inaccessible-place one!! Happy New Year to you and Binga and Boodie ….. and the humans 🙂 xx
PAWsome advices as alway´s Sparkle
Great tips!
I’ll be using some of those on my mum 😆
Awesome Sparkle, you really rocked theese one out of the park! I’m going to “help” my Human just as you suggest!
Excellent resolutions Sparkle! My humans were sitting around recently talking about their goals for 2014. I just rolled my eyes! Meow and Namaste and Happy Mew Year Sparkle! Pippy the Feline Yogini