Who knew there was a day devoted to having humans answer their cats’ questions? I only found out about it about a week ago — just in time to let you kitties know about it! I am not sure of its origins; I do know that the California Veterinary Medical Association tried to shanghai it to make up cat health and care related questions that bear little resemblance to the sort of things we cats would really ask. But I am not going to let some boring vets try to speak for us! Here are some questions I plan to ask my human today. Note the very first one:
- Why do you stuff me in a carrier and take me to the vet when I am already feeling sick and horrible? Why don’t you put the vets into carriers and bring them here instead?
- Speaking of vets, how come most of them are still using those invasive tubes to take our temperatures? Why can’t they use a more civilized ear thermometer?
- Why don’t you appreciate the nice gifts I give you? Freshly killed crickets are tasty and great sources of protein and I know you are not a vegetarian.
- What is that crappy smelling stuff you spray on yourself? It does not disguise your scent and it makes me sneeze.
- Instead of getting yourself wet every day, why don’t you just let Binga give you a bath? She would be more than happy to do it, and as you can see she is very clean, at least usually.
- When the weather is gray and rainy, how come you don’t change it to something better? Do not tell me you can’t do this, I know you are lying.
- How come you are so anxious to get me to eat healthy, and then you go eat a red velvet cupcake? Hypocritical much?
- If you don’t want me to push the bathroom door open, why do you keep shutting it?
- How come fish-flavored medicine tastes like something awful and vile and nothing like fish?
- When are you going to stop making up excuses and buy me a new deluxe cat tree?
What questions do you kitties have for your humans today? I really want to know!