Before Binga says anything, I want to let you know that I don’t necessarily approve of or endorse any of her statements. Okay, I will let her speak now.
If you look all over the internet, you will find lots of articles on how to tell if a cat loves you. Well, they don’t apply to torties, so they might as well all be lies! To keep you from being misinformed any longer, I will let you know now how to tell you if a tortie loves you. This is more important, and truer, than any of the other stories. So don’t believe everything you see on the internet!
Since the great majority of torties are female, I shall use the pronoun “she.” Especially since I am a “she” anyhow, and that’s all that matters.
How to Tell if a Tortie Loves You
- She bites you! The harder she bites you, the more she loves you. Unless you are doing something like trying to clip her nails or stopping her from doing something she wants to do. Then if she bites you, it means she hates you. But don’t worry. She will only hate you for a few minutes. Probably.
- She purrs really loudly for you! Or sometimes it means she just wants something out of you. But don’t worry, torties never ask for things from someone they don’t love! Even if they change their minds and don’t love you later on.
- She sits on your lap and gets mad when you try to push her off. If she doesn’t get mad, then she probably doesn’t love you. If she gets really mad and refuses to leave, then she really loves you a lot!
- She whaps you when you misbehave! If she loves you, she will only leave her claws out a little bit. Unless you really misbehave badly — then she will use full claws. In case you are wondering, misbehaving means doing anything that does not involve the tortie, or doesn’t put the tortie first!
- She tears around the house and breaks things! That means you are ignoring her and she wants attention. Torties only want attention from people they love. Or failing that, they will take attention from anybody. But torties will break the things belonging to people they love first!
- She rolls on her back and presents her tummy to you! Yes, chances are she will shred your hand if you try to touch her tummy, but if she does, you deserved it because you should have known you weren’t supposed to do that!
- She follows you all over the house or apartment and won’t leave you alone! Except if it is dinnertime, then it means she is hungry and wants to make sure you don’t forget to feed her! But it still means she loves you because torties always love the human who is holding the food bowl!
All of this makes total sense, and I am surprised I even have to say any of it!