Humans! Are you having trouble attracting kitties? Does it seem like you are doing all the chasing, and you get nothing in return but rejection and the back of disrespect? Do cats head under the bed the moment they see you? Do they sit on top of the refrigerator and eye you with suspicion? Would you do anything to have a chance to touch a cat’s soft fur, or maybe even hear the blissful sound of purring?
Chances are the things you are doing to attract a cat are having exactly the opposite effect. It’s not just you — millions of humans make the very same mistakes every single day. They go searching for a cat’s affection — and return sad and empty-handed, never knowing where it all went so wrong.
That’s where I come in. Being a cat, I’ve observed humans as they turn themselves inside out trying to win the love of a feline, only to have their advances summarily rebuffed. It’s a sad thing to see, and totally avoidable… if you humans only understood a kitty’s love language. And I am here to help you.
You see, a cat’s love language is different from a human’s way of communicating love. And when humans try to win a cat’s love the same way they would try with another human, they fail miserably. The only way you will win a cat’s love is by learning how to speak a cat’s love language. I can’t give up all kitty love language secrets in just one blog post, but here are some important tips to get you started.
- Let the cat make the first move. Whether it is a cat you have known for a long time, or a complete stranger, cats always want to be the one to decide whether they want to connect. So much attention is put on cats being predators, and their skill at catching mice and birds, that humans often forget they are also prey animals. You are a lot bigger than a cat, so being forward sparks their prey instinct and makes them want to run from you.
- Make the proper introductions. Even the friendliest cat will be happier if you follow the correct feline protocol when you meet. Cats form opinions on humans early on, and the closer you stick to their rules, the better relationship you will have in the long run.
- The eyes have it. Before you even come within a few feet of a cat, the way you look at her will determine whether she decides to go forward or turn away. I know you love gazing at a cat’s eternal beauty, but never, ever stare at a cat. Once again, that sparks the prey instinct and makes her want to run. Or it could even trigger aggression, if the cat is feeling territorial. What you should do is what many people call “the slow blink.” Briefly look into the cat’s eyes, and make a slow, deliberate blink — then immediately look down and away. It’s a greeting that meant to be non-threatening. It will help to put all but the most nervous cats at ease.
- Offer your hand, but don’t pet the cat. If the cat has continued to stay nearby, you may hold your hand out. But let the cat approach your hand and decide to make any contact. If she wants to be friendly, she will rub her face against your fingers. Cats like to take the lead in the relationship, so let them. Especially in the beginning.
- Choose the spots to pet a cat carefully. If the cat allows your new friendship to go further, you may pet the sides of her face, under her chin, and from her forehead down her back. Be gentle but use firm strokes. No patting. Most cats don’t like patting early on in a relationship.
- Play with the cat. Some cats may shy away from human touch, but will play with you, if you use an interactive toy that keeps a distance between the two of you. That way, she can have fun while not having to get too close. If you use frequent playtime with a cat that refuses to come near you, you may be surprised at how eager she becomes when she sees you!
- Always give the cat space. Cats like to be in control, so the more space you give her, the more she will appreciate you. Letting her choose the amount of closeness you two have, and the length of time you spend together will build trust. And trust is the key to a good feline-human relationship.
- When all else fails, use treats. I recommend fried chicken. Yeah, cats want control, space and all that… but they aren’t immune to a good snack! True, it won’t necessarily build a longterm, quality relationship, but it will work if you want a temporary kitty fix.
I hope my suggestions help you out, and you find the kitty love you’ve been searching for!