A recent study revealed some shocking information about cat lovers. Some cat people who consider themselves to be the most knowledgeable and experienced don’t handle cats properly! Let’s see what they are doing wrong — and then I’ll give you tips on how to do it right.
The study by cat welfare scientists Nottingham Trent University and the University of Nottingham set 120 people in a cat environment. Other than telling them to let the cat approach first, they had free rein to handle the cats any way they felt was right. Here are the eye-opening results.
People who thought they knew cats were touching them in the least desirable areas (tummy and base of tail), and held and cuddled the cats whether they wanted it or not.
I know, I know — this might sound like your home on any average day. But really, your cats will be happier with you if, instead of doing that, you did this instead:
Be careful with those grabby hands!
I know how people love to grab and cuddle cats. I get that all the time as a therapy cat, and while I’m tolerant, I actually don’t like it! But I just won’t complain and lash out like most cats, although I will eventually squirm out of their grasp if they hold me too long. The thing is we cats like to be in control, and it’s uncomfortable for us, both physically and emotionally, to be restrained. Sure, hug us kitties if you want, but let us know we can leave when we want to.
Be mindful of where you touch us
Yes, lots of cats enjoy having their tummy rubbed, or to be patted on the base of their tail (I love both!). But for most cats it can be overstimulating and cause them to lash out.
The biggest problem comes when a cat likes to be touched somewhere initially, but then the human doing the touching misses the signals that they’ve had enough. And actually, the signals aren’t that subtle. You can feel a cat’s body tense up, or skin twitch. The kitty may stop purring or even let out a quiet growl. Those are definitely signals that you need to stop.
Better yet, leave the cat wanting more. Stop petting well before any warning signals. If a cat wants you to continue, they will solicit touching.
The safest places to pet a cat are around the face, like the cheeks and chin. Where ever they rub against your hand is where you should start. Pet them a little and stop. If the cat leans in for more pets, keep going. But if you are getting any warning signals, stop.
Let the cat choose what they want
Cats like the freedom to choose how and when they are handled. If your cat loves tummy rubs and every time you stop they flop over and ask for more — they are choosing tummy rubs. But if they swat you and run away, you went too far. If you are always trying to pull your cat closer to you on the sofa — consider that they were happier sharing space with you, but just a couple of feet away.
If your cat knows you won’t force them into doing things, you may be surprised and find them actually asking for more attention. Admit it, as a human, you don’t like being forced into doing things or tolerating intrusive behavior. That goes double for cats. When left to figure it out for themselves, cats will quietly ask for what they want, and allowing them free will builds a deeper bond.
That cat that wanted to sit a few feet away? Let them have their space and someday, when they are in the mood, you may find them coming over and curling in your lap. And having a cat ask for more affection is the best feeling of all.
Other posts you’ll enjoy:
- The REAL Way to Talk to Your Cat – and It Is Surprisingly Simple
- How to Bond With Your Cat – 8 Tips
- Pleased to Meet Me! Five Tips for How to Get a Cat to Like You
This makes me think about, when I bury my nose in my Sydney’s fur, she sometimes slaps me!
Great advice. Summer. I’ve had almost 60 years with cats. Pets, rescues, strays. Every cat has its own personality and boundaries. I’m lucky my girls love to be loved. Rosie 24/7 if I let her. Princess when she’s in the mood. I can touch them pretty much anywhere. The dress exceptions are nail clipping, teeth brushing and ear drops. They still don’t get mean just agrivated
Good advice! I’ve been lucky that both my cats were lap sitting cats, although one loves to have her tummy rubbed and her sister absolutely objected so after the one attempt when she was a kitten, I never did it again. She loved to wrap herself around my neck and be held so not touching the tummy was no problem.
Oddly enough the kitty who found her way to me as a full grown cat (strayed into my yard and eventually allowed me to adopt her) loved having her tummy rubbed. I’ll admit the first time she showed me the tummy I had a lot of hesitation in touching but go figure, she really did like it.
Great advice!!
This is really good advice.
I’d like to think I’m pretty mindful of kitties. I let my boys choose whether they want to be near, have a lap, be pet, etc. But I’m especially mindful of Tylan because he had to live in a hard cat carrier for God only knows how long. He never had a choice, so I try to give him as much choice and freedom as I can. He will clearly tell me when he wants his tummy rubs – and when he’s had enough, he rolls back over, and that’s that. 🙂
My peeps have become experts at ignoring me. TW loves when I put my chin up for pets but always stops way too soon. Since I’m a biter, she gets her signals from me.
Great tips, Summer! We’ve been volunteering at the shelter for a long, long time, and we know that every cat is different. So we always take our cues from each kitty. 🙂
Wonderful reminders to handle kitties the correct way. XO
Those are really terrific and we’re glad you shared them.
This is so interesting, Summer! Bottom line – let the cat be the boss, which we know they are anyways!
This is a great post!
(Informative too)
Xoxo
All good advice. Both boys loved tummy rubs, but I would get tired before them. I don’t think they would ever have tired of them.
I agree. The same rules really can apply to all of us. I don’t like
hands on me when I haven’t invited same. Haven’t we all had that
experience where someone (maybe someone we don’t even know)
reaches out and puts a hand on our face, neck, shoulder, etc? It’s
surprising how many people feel free to do that- to people and
animals.
Love te tips. I know them and use them but I learned the hard way along the way.
Very good points Summer. It pays to know your cat as they are all different.
I happen to be a cat that loves attention and being petted.
Mum loves picking me up for cuddles. At the slightest squirm, she knows i want down.
People need to know that it is about what the cat wants, not what the human wants 😉
Purrs, Julie
Lots of good advice there, Summer. #1 generally tries to be careful with us, and to let us come to her. although she seems to be finding it difficult with Momo who is super cuddleable fluffball!
Purrs,
The Chans
I approach cats like dogs. Palm up and wait for them. Then, move my fingers in a scratching motion and let them pick. Slow blinks are a given. And for males, I do the head motion that people use to say “What’s up”. Ya know, straight on look then upward tilt.