Note: This is different from when a tortoiseshell cat loves you. If you want to know how to tell if a tortie loves you, then read this post from Binga.
Some people like dogs’ effusive adoration and sloppy kisses. Other people, like my human, are totally turned off by that. She wants to be appreciated, not worshipped, and she prefers PDAs to be a little more on the neat, non-slobbery side. That is what makes her a pretty decent cat person. She likes the type of affection we cats have to give — and she understands it. Some people don’t understand how a cat says I love you. Some of these people even live with cats — and that’s sad, because they go through life, thinking their cats don’t care about them!
The truth is if a cat chooses to live with and hang out with you, she loves you. If a cat doesn’t love you, she will find a way to leave, or she will hide from you, never to be seen. Cat love is often quiet and subtle (unless the cat is a tortie), so you have to be more aware of the signals. Would you like a refresher course, or a list you can pass along to a friend who isn’t sure how his cat feels about him? Here you go.
- Cats who love you share space with you. Do you often find your cat nearby, or does she follow you from room to room? If a cat wants to be around you, then she loves you and loves your company.
- She holds her tail high when she greets you. Cats have two different “love” tails. One is where their tail is straight up, but curves at the end like a question mark. That’s the friendly tail. The other is when they hold their tail straight up as they walk towards you. Their tail may even twitch a bit with excitement. That means the cat is really, really happy to see you!
- Head butts and rubs. Cats give head butts to people they love. They also like rubbing up against their humans. That’s because we have scent glands in our face and certain parts of our bodies. When we mark you with our scent, we are intermingling our smells with yours to create one big, happy, family aroma! You humans can’t smell it, but we can.
- Bringing gifts. My human had one indoor/ outdoor cat who loved to bring her prey. My human always tried to be appreciative of these gifts, even though she was not thrilled about it. But the cat was always so happy and proud to present these gifts to her. One of the nicest things you can do for someone is provide for them, after all. About the only way you can stop a cat who is determined to provide for you is keep her indoors… and even then, if a mouse gets in the house, you may find yourself with another present. Or maybe she will bring you her toys instead.
- Purring and happy paws. If a cat purrs for you and makes happy paws, kneading on your clothes — or your blanket, if you are in bed — she is really enjoying her time with you. It’s also very healing, which is why I do this for my patients as a therapy cat.
- Grooming you. Cats who love you will sometimes groom you, licking your hair or sometimes your skin. Cats always like to look their best, and they want to do the same for their human! Or at least we think it’s a nice way to spend time with them. And no, you don’t have to groom us back, although some cats do appreciate a good brushing.
- Exposing our bellies. This is a sign of trust, and not one to be taken lightly. Some cats like their bellies rubbed, but others see this as a betrayal of their vulnerability — and others just instinctually grab your hand with their claws. Humans always want to touch our bellies, even when they are not supposed to! So do try to be polite and restrain yourself if you’ve discovered we don’t want our bellies to be touched. With cats, physical contact is not always necessary to express affection.
- The slow blink. When a cat lazily looks into your eyes and gives you a slow blink, then looks away or shuts her eyes again, she is giving you a love sign. If you slow blink back in the same way she is doing it, you are saying I love you too.
And… sometimes if a cat really, really loves and trusts her human, she will let her place silly things on her head!
Do you kitties out there have other ways of telling your humans you love them?
You look VERY Demure in your Victorian Tea Cup Hat
Pure and simple, my cats love me
My Sydney kneads me on my neck, and right below my knee caps!
Great words of wisdom Summer, I know my kitties love me as much as I love them.
Summer, I couldn’t agree more with this list. My faves from or kitties, including you Aby, Lexi, are the head butts, the tummy rubs, and lots of purrs!!!! Love you Summer and keep doing what you’re doing!!!
Is that s TEACUP? MOL
PURRZ!
Selina
Jack and Gwennie so all the things from your great list, Summer, but we didn’t try the hat or costume part ( because I love my kitties like they love me, I know they wouldn’t like it ). I really love the way they let me know they trust me. If we have to go to the vet, they try to hide, and they don’t like the car ride or the whole experience. But when we are at the vet, they get as close to me as they can, because they know I won’t let anything bad happen to them!
I get them all Summer, from my two girls, except the silly hats lol
I gives my hooman love bites, these are just little nips to the chin or tip of the nose. She thinks this is really special since I am the only Somali (I am #3) or any other cat that has owned he that gives love bites. Zoee gives kitty kisses, Django just give bites, he is young and hooman thinks (hopes) he will change, Django only purrs or makes bread when he is eating or with his bestie the dog. Not of use do the slow blink but we all love the hoomans. The female hooman is a certified crazy cat lady!
Bodacious
I gives love bites, little nips to the nose or the chin of my hooman. None of the other cats that have owned her have done so she thinks I’m quite special. Zoee gives kitty kisses. Django just bites but he’s young so hopefully he will change. Django does not ourr or make bread for the hoomans, he saves it for for his bestie the dog. None of us do slow blink but ziee and I love our hooman. Not too sure about Django
Bodacious
I like to give what hooman calls love bites. These are just little nips on the nose or chin to say I luv u. I am the only Somali or cat that has owned her to do this. So she considers it quite special. Zoee gives kitty kisses Django just bites, he is young so hoping for improvement.
Bodacious
why is it my cat Max has never purred? he does everything but that.
What a great explanation of all the ways kitties say “I love you”. My two inside girls like to do all of those things and one will even allow belly rubs! However her sister is not inclined, thank you. She will show the belly but NO touching allowed. That’s fine, she prefers to jump onto my shoulder and drape herself around my neck for a ride instead.
I love my girls very much.
My kitties love me and I love them.
I like to lead pawppy around the den, to show him where I think it would be in my best interest for him to go to! And I check behind me and mrouw at him to make sure he is obeying… (Petcretary says I love him more than her…since I only do that to her if pawppy isn’t there.) I think its because pawppy is a man just like me:)
I Marvelous LOVE my human! What my Human appreciates the most is my galloping down the stairs to greet her when she gets home, I then lat down and want her to vigorously rub my back! It is our purrsonal ritual and I LIVE it! I then rub up against her legs. Sometimes, when she is leaving to go somewhere, I wrap my arms around her leg and hang on tight!
Purrs
Marv
Yeah, I do all of those things to mum at one time or another. We had a nice sleep together this AM, so much so she got up way later than she normally does. She was super relaxed.
Cats can be very lovable and loving! They definitely need some sort of loving exchange with their human on a daily basis. I’ve been fortunate in that all the cats that have passed through my life have loved and trusted me. Malou and Levon are both total lovebugs. 🙂
the critters in the cottage xo
I am pleased to know my cats have always loved me. Many years ago I would hear my white Persian yowling on the way home and she would have a stalk of a large leaf in her mouth and place the leaf on our front door mat. She did the same at my mums when she stayed there on holiday. She went everywhere with me in the car lying on my shoulders and never attempted to get out when I did to do shopping. She could even open the front door by swinging on the handle. I miss her dearly to this day.
I do most of the things on your list. I also like to try to trip my humans by walking in front of them.
I do most of these things for Pop who knows how I feel about him. TW, not so much although I do follow her around cos she’s the source of my food. I don’t purr for her, make biscuits in bed or rub against her but I do bring her my feathers.
I am a loud purrer and luv to “make biscuits” (knead). Crockett likes to climb on top of da humans and sit on them – I prefer sitting near them. Angelique likes to sit next to people and get pets.
Mudpie is a tortie but she does every one of these but bring me gifts!
We do a pretty good job showing #1 that we love her! And we also enjoyed re-reading Binga’s post!
Purrs,
The Chans
Eric and Flynn used to do all of those things, and even let me put things on their heads.
I, Leia, am very big with the quivering tail. I do that for mom a lot. Also head bonks and nose rubs. Toby lives to entangle himself in her hair, and generally follows her around from room to room. I’d hang out with her more, but he’s such a jealous brat!
OH I do all of those things with my mom. I love her so much and she loves me. I extend these signs of great love to one of my human brothers. The one I say is a favorite brother. Summer, think good things for him now please.
I will. <3
Great post. Phoebe used to do the best blinky eyes to tell us she loved us, I miss her. I guess my cats love me because they let me put silly things on their heads all the time 🙂
Sydney sleeps on my bed, usually in between my legs, or on my side! If we go to one room, or a floor, it won’t be long before Sydney is there with us! She always has her tail up in the air, which means a “Happy Cat.” She rolls on her back, in that “trying to be cute” pose. She has a very loud purr, and loves to rub her body on us.
Her kneading is the most interesting: She loves to knead me on my NECK. Also, right below the knee caps.
One time, she kneaded me below the knee caps so much, I developed tendonitis in the knees, and couldn’t play basketball for two weeks!
At a cat show, an Abyssinian Ruddy Male Kitten kept on head bunting me, through his soft cat carrier!
I give CB and Manny the slow blink often…Angel too! Da Boyz aren’t into subtlety…
We have not shown our humans the SLOW BLINK yet. We’re saving the best for special occasion.
My first cat regularly left toys on the threshold of my bedroom. She would meow in the way cats do when they’re bringing back prey.
while the girls here aren’t overly affectionate in some ways, we are usually hanging out in the living room with mom. Ivy does like to sleep on her back, but it may be more about warming both sides of the cat by the floor vent. And mom tried to give Chanel the slow blink last night and Chanel looked baffled. MOL
Izzy loves to lick our mom when she pets him. He also lets her rub his belleh! While we all love our mom, no one else expresses it like he does!
Oh my mouses, Andy and Rushy must REALLY LOVE Peep #1, a lot. Sometime they headbutt her so hard, right behind her knees, they almost knock her down! PURRsonally, I prefer to have Peep #1 standin’ upright, unless, of course, I’m sittin’ on her lap. PURRS
Yep, we have a lot of that going on here!
We all definitely display one or more of these traits with our folks. Mom says she knows we love her and can see it in our eyes. Believe it or not she tries and makes sure to give each of us one-on-one time daily, and it’s not easy with 6 of us. It baffles us as to why people think we are solitary animals. No Way! We love to love! Great post today Summer. Let’s spread some love. Purrs
Those facts are all so true and it happens all the time around here. It is just the best to have an animals love.
Yeah, we don’t love our humans that much so she can put stuff on our heads! MOL!
oHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SUMMER thank you for this…and we hope and purr lots of puppy lovers read it so their peeps will know when they see our photos that although we don’t smile we are very very very very happy and loving kit kats. Mom says I’m an expert at blinkie blinkie and both talking tails.
hugs madi your bfff
Those are all so good and pretty darn common here sweet Summer!
Great kitty wisdom, Summer. Now our mommy knows why Jonah likes her face!