Just like people, cats have very strong opinions about who they like, and don’t like. And a cat’s favorite person isn’t always the one who feeds them daily and scoops their litter box. In fact, the person who makes the most effort may walk into the living room to find their cat contentedly relaxing on the sofa with someone who never lifts a finger for their care.
Frustrating, isn’t it?
But cats will have specific reasons for gravitating to some people and not giving much of their time to others. Here are some of them.
The person they like gives them their space.
Cat experts have noted that cats often gravitate towards the visitor that ignores them over the one that pursues them. And it makes sense — who likes their personal space being invaded? While the person who is ignoring a cat is naturally letting them be, and the cat feels safe to approach them on their own terms. The person trying to force themselves on the cat is doing the exact opposite.
They give off good energy.
A cat will naturally gravitate towards the person who has a calmer, more centered energy. Or maybe the person happens to be calmer and more centered in the cat’s presence, no matter how they are elsewhere. A cat likes to be where they feel safe, and a person who is scattered, nervous, or stressed out will make a cat uncomfortable.
They speak the cat’s language.
Cat language is mostly nonverbal. They will gravitate towards someone who they can bond with through the silence rather than someone who chatters at them nonstop.
They spend time doing things the cat enjoys.
Whether that’s playing, relaxing on the sofa in front of the TV, or sharing treats, if it’s something the cat enjoys, they’ll enjoy it more with friendly company.
They prefer the way someone smells over another.
Yes, it can be as simple as that. Cats have very sensitive noses, and they may like the natural scent of one person. Or the person they don’t like as much may be using a perfume, soap, or even scented antiperspirant or cream that is unpleasant to them.
So, if you aren’t a cat’s favorite person, what can you do to change that? Here are some suggestions.
Respect their personal space.
That is the number one thing to do to get a cat to like you more. Cats don’t like people who follow them around and are desperate for their attention. (It’s not really appealing to humans either.) If a cat wants to be left alone, leave them alone. It’s that simple. In fact, let the cat seek you out.
Listen (not just with your ears).
Cats have all sorts of ways to communicate. They do so through ear movements, blinks, tail positions, body language, and even skin twitching and whisker position. Meows are the least important, and often the least interesting communication a cat uses. Learning language and behaviors that are specific to that cat will help a lot in your ability to know them better.
Be quiet.
This goes along with listening. If you spend a lot of time talking to your cat, try not to do so much of it. Since a cat’s most important communication is often nonverbal, you’re better off saying less and spending more quiet time around them.
Match their energy.
Whatever it is the cat enjoys doing, do that with them. That could be playing or quiet time. Maybe time outside on a leash and harness. Maybe sitting by the window looking at birds — okay, most humans don’t really care about that. But if you sit quietly nearby, you cat considers that one-on-one time with you. You don’t have to actively do anything specific with your cat, really. Often, being in the same room together means more to them than you realize.
Watch your scented soaps and lotions.
Notice if your cat avoids you after a shower or applying hairspray or body cream. On the other hand, some cats like these smells. Either way, make sure you aren’t automatically turning off your cat with something you can easily fix by changing product.
Treat bribery is usually welcome.
What can I say? It’s true! Figure out what the cat likes best and have some on hand.
I hope these helped! If they did, or if you have some other suggestions that helped you, let me know in the comments.
Other posts you’ll enjoy:
- Here Is How a Cat Wants to Be Handled – Secrets Even Experienced Cat Lovers Mess Up On!
- How to Make a Cat Fall in Love With You
- How a Cat Says I Love You


Mee will admit mee faverite purrson iss Aunty Mary-Ellen…….shee an mee just sorta ‘get’ each other alltho’ mee doess try to nip or bite her.
Shee iss furry calm…..
BellaSita does talk alot butt mee iss used to her chattur. Inn fact, when shee goes furry quiet; mee getss concerned.
An shee apawlogizess when shee had to put Heet Rub on caus it iss STINKY butt it helpss with her pain…..
A grate post Summer……
***purrss*** BellaDharma an 🙂 BellaSita Mum
I have a pretty good track record with most cats. Obviously much closer to my cats over the years. I think they sense I love cats and mean them no harm. I think I have feline genes in my DNA. Hate to say this, but often I prefer cats or animals in general over humans. Their love is unconditional and I’ve had several humans abuse me both physically and emotionally
Wonderful post, Summer! I’m definitely Mudpie’s favorite person, and have been since day one. But like you, she pretty much loves everyone. Other cats, on the other hand…NOPE!
Those are very true, Summer. We’re pretty sure we’re both Ava’s favorite person, depending upon what she wants at the moment. 🙂
I think treat bribery is the most important one. 😉
I guess I’m part cat because these same rules pretty much
apply for me too. You know, people that come up to you and
hardly need to breathe they talk so much, get in your space,
wear too strong scents, the list goes on. And, yes chocolate
treats help a lot .
I am glad I am my cat’s favorite person. He follows me all around the house and comes on my lap every day for some time at least. His name is Bear, I’ve had him a year now.
Great suggestions! I’m trying to follow this to get the outside black cat who I’m providing food, water and shelter too. He/she is very shy. If I see him when he comes to eat, I usually say hello and then go back in the house since he gets nervous if I stay nearby while he eats.
I have tried many of these things, but so far no luck with my ferals. I need to do more with treats. XO
You have some very good advice, Summer.
I take a lot of cues from Mum, but I am curious. I do observe from a distance.
Mostly it is just mum and I and that is fine by me. She has a pawsome lap and gives great scritches and belly rubs.
Purrs, Julie
Those are really good points Summer.
We cats do believe in ‘stranger danger.’
I often take my cues from mum when someone new is around.
Purrs, Julie