Life is different for everyone during Christmas week — busier, crazier, and full of both angst and cheer. At least for the humans. We cats understand the change in energy, but like always, we just want to know, what’s in it for us? So I thought I’d set down a few rules for the humans. That way, you guys aren’t surprised when we kitties behave in a way that conflicts with your holiday plans. And everyone, feline and human, can have more fun!
- Cats must be allowed to inspect all packages that arrive at the house. Well, this rule goes all year round, but it’s even more important right now, when most households have boxes arriving in droves.
- Also, cats must be on hand to inspect all packages being packed to go out, and all gifts being wrapped. Like you thought you could be trusted to do it on your own?
- You brought in an awesome, 6 foot tall cat toy, and you think we aren’t gonna play with it? You crazy? At the very least, we are going to nap under it until it gets taken down. So deal with it.
- We cats get to share some of your holiday treats. Well, at least the meat ones. And if you are a vegetarian or vegan household, then you must at least buy us the most special cat treats ever! It is the holidays, after all.
- Make sure to crank up the heat if you live in the northern hemisphere, where it’s cold at Christmastime. Especially if you have floor or wall vents. That way, we cats have somewhere to warm ourselves, since winter sun puddles are less than satisfying.
- Do not bring any plants into the house without checking first to see if they are safe for cats. Mistletoe, for example, is very poisonous! It’s a much better idea to hang a fresh sprig of catnip instead of mistletoe — as long as your cat doesn’t mind being kissed. (You can kiss me!)
- Gifts for us kitties actually aren’t necessary, as long as you leave out the boxes and wrapping paper for us after you have opened your own gifts. How long do you need to keep all this sitting around? Well… how about until next Christmas, when you can replace the old boxes and wrapping paper with new ones? That sounds about right.
Did I leave anything out? Let me know in the comments.
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