Have you kitties ever noticed that humans think they are, ahem, superior to us? I am not sure where they got that idea. Let’s look at the facts:
- Humans are practically deaf. While we cats hear at 65 kilohertz (khz), human hearing barely reaches 20 khz. All that listening to rock ‘n’ roll does not help either.
- As if their hearing wasn’t bad enough, human ears are basically otherwise useless — they are pretty much immobile since the outer ear only has 6 muscles. Meanwhile, our outer ears have 32 muscles and can move independently of one another! That’s why humans have to make such silly faces to express emotion, while we do it subtly and with style.
- Humans are nearly night blind, while we cats only need one-sixth of the light humans do to see. I’m surprised they don’t trip over themselves after dark.
- Humans must blink their eyes to keep them lubricated. This is not necessary for us kitties, which means we will always win in a stare-down.
- We are psychedelic! Our urine glows when you shine a blacklight on it. Human urine does not fluoresce — how blah!
- With less than 20 million olfactory cells, a human can smell really bad and not realize it! We cats have between 60 and 80 million olfactory cells, so we know when the litter box needs changing why sooner than humans do.
- We purr; humans can’t. They have to think up all sorts of remedies for healing, many of which do not work, while we can just lie there purring away and it’ll help mend a broken bone, and sometimes a broken heart.
Maybe I should turn these facts, and a few others, into a poster! That way, you kitties can hang them somewhere obvious so it will be a constant reminder to your humans — what do you think?