Humans have so many meaningless etiquette rules — I mean, who cares what fork to use anyhow — but then, we kitties have rules too! Only our rules are logical and totally make sense. Here’s a quick list of the most pertinent kitty etiquette rules, the ones humans are most likely to break. So make sure to pass this list along to the humans in your house, with a reminder that politeness counts!
1. Anything left on the counter is clearly meant for the cat and is being offered freely.
2. Once a cat has taken possession of a sitting surface such as a sofa or chair, it is bad form to disturb her for any reason other than a meal or snack.
3. Once a schedule has been set for mealtimes, it is extremely rude to change it.
4. If a cat requests to be petted, the human must comply, and may only stop when the cat agrees she is done.
5. When a cat rolls on her back, she is expecting praise and admiration from the human. Touching the tummy is generally not expected, and often not wanted.
6. It is rude to eat in front of a cat without offering her some of the food.
7. It is very rude to dispose of an item that does not belong to you, so you should never dispose of an item a cat has claimed as hers. This specifically includes cat trees with lots of claw marks, or chewed up or drooled on cat toys. These are all signals the items are the cat’s treasured possessions.
8. The cat is the best judge of her own sleeping surfaces, and it is impolite to question or make fun of her choices.
9. Cats must be allowed to help make the bed, and their offer should never be turned down.
So, how did your humans do? Are they kitty etiquette masters, or should they attend a remedial feline charm school?