I keep on seeing all these articles online about things you should never do to your cat. Things like never “go outside unsupervised,” “forget to take her to the vet,” or the always-predictable “skip the flea and tick treatments.” (My human says I’m due for one of the latter, actually.) But what about humans? If there are some things they should never do to us, of course there must be an equal (at least!) number of things we should never do to them! So I compiled a list. I hope you find it useful.
Never do these things to your human:
- Let her oversleep. Every day is new, with lots of exciting things to do and see! And of course it all starts with giving you breakfast. Don’t let your human miss one single minute of it by sleeping late.
- Leave her in the bathroom unsupervised. Bathrooms are dangerous places. She could slip and fall on the tile. She could drown in the bathtub or shower. She could pass out while on the human litter box and miss your dinnertime. Make sure you are in the bathroom with her every moment so that nothing bad happens to her.
- Abandon her while she is on the computer or tablet. We kitties are experts on the internet (we are all over it, after all), so how will your human be able to effectively visit her social media, read the news, or watch a movie unless you are there to supervise and make sure she is doing it right?
- Instantly strike perfect poses when she is photographing you. Humans like to think they are good photographers, but you know nothing really good happens without a challenge. So be that challenge! Keep moving, looking away from the camera, scratching your ear, and shutting one eye. Then when she finally gets a good photo of you, she will feel really accomplished.
- Let her eat by herself. Humans are social creatures, and eating alone is unhealthy for them. So keep yours company! In fact, you should also examine what she is eating. Humans often don’t have the best dietary habits, so it’s a good idea to supervise the content of their meals too.
- Be too easy for her to find. I’m not saying you should hide from your human exactly, but if you are always there when she is looking for you, she may eventually take you for granted. So when she calls, don’t always come right away. Take your time showing up. Let her search for you — it’s good exercise. Of course, if she wants to stick you in a carrier and take you to the vet, you may want to really make the search a challenge.
- Allow her to neglect you, ever. Your relationship with your human is important. The only thing is sometimes they forget that. So if your human is not paying enough attention to you, then get in her face and remind her how crucial kitty energy is to her sanity!
Of course, if you are doing all of the above, there is little chance of #7 happening.
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