Nothing against dogs or you dog loving humans, but I really dislike it when someone says a cat is being dog-like, as if that is a compliment! Sure, we cats can show affection and sometimes follow our humans around the house, some of us (like me) walk on leashes, and sometimes we will do tricks (usually for treats) — but we do it on our own terms. Dogs do it because of their desperate need for approval. When humans compare cat behavior to dog behavior, they are only showing that they don’t understand us cats, or the motivations behind what we do. Feline ways come from a different mental place than dogs, even if the outcome looks similar.
Besides, there are certain dog behaviors that I am sure humans would rather we cats not have — and frankly, I am glad we don’t do these either!
- Dogs eat poop! Other dogs’ poop, our poop out of the litter box… they are just poop eating machines. We kitties would never do this, unless there was something really, really wrong with us.
- Bark, bark, bark! Some cats are more vocal than others — Siamese and Oriental breeds and mixes, for example — but nothing compares to the annoyance of a dog that won’t shut up. Usually it’s a neighbor’s dog that’s doing this, and he is probably bored and not getting enough enrichment and companionship. But whatever dog is doing it, doesn’t it make you crazy?
- Hump legs and other (sometimes living) things. Male dogs can be love machines in some really inappropriate ways! Actually female dogs can be pretty annoying too — one of my human’s friends had a female German shepherd who liked to smell visitors’ crotches. Rude!
- Drool. Whether or not you believe “cats rule,” there is no doubt that dogs drool! True, some cats drool when they are happy or know they are about to get a treat (I do this sometimes, but just a little bit). But it’s nothing like the disgusting rivers of drool that come pouring out of a dog’s mouth! Especially big dogs. Plus they can’t seem to keep their tongues in their mouths. If we kitties show our tongues, it’s just the tip, and it’s cute.
- Pee when they are excited. My human’s family had a puppy that did this whenever everyone returned from an outing that did not include her. This behavior carried on well into her canine adulthood. One of my human’s childhood memories is dodging dog pee every time she came home from Disneyland. Maybe that’s why she eventually became a cat person.
Maybe dogs would be better off if they became more cat-like! Just think of the things we kitties can do that dogs can’t:
- We can use our front paws to grab toys and treats! We don’t have to wait for them to be handed to us.
- We can jump up on counters in a single leap. Even better, we don’t feel bad if we are told we are not supposed to do that.
- Chatter at birds out the window. It’s fun for us, and it amuses the humans too.
- Be flexible! We cats are so flexible we can practically make ourselves liquid. I bet dogs, with their stiff spines and legs envy our ability to fit into some very strange places.
- Purr! It’s one of the very most amazing things we cats do. Sadly for dogs, they will never be able to do this.