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You are here: Home / Diary / Thanks for Nothing

Thanks for Nothing

March 29, 2010 By: Sparkle Cat13 Comments

Another day, another big box. I was all over it immediately. My human said, “It’s not for you,” but of course I ignored her.

All your boxes are belong to me!

There were four plastic canisters inside, and the contents were definitely intriguing. “It’s not for you,” my human said. Again.

My human has no idea what she's talking about.

Not for me, my eye! Those canisters are filled to the brim with sparkle ball cat toys! I hit the jackpot! This had to be the most amazing day ever.

It's not often a cat gets to go to heaven WITHOUT dying!

Then my human explained that they were for the “swag bags” at the BlogPaws conference in a couple of weeks. She’s going to staple them to postcards promoting my new book, which is coming out in August.

Are you SURE this is in the promotion budget?

She said she needs all of them. I don’t even get to keep one. Never mind the fact that I already have a bunch — you can never be too rich, too thin, or have too many sparkle balls.

The Best Day Of My Life Ever has been ruined!

Now I am disgusted with the whole thing. The least my human could have done was bought an extra canister just for me.

Banish these things from my sight. I cannot bear to look at them.

At least I get to keep the box.

But it's the kind of victory that tastes like ashes.

* * *

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Comments

  1. 8GR8CATS says

    April 7, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    The BOX is the bestest part of all! You can rub all oFUR it… Hide inside it… Toys just end up under the couch and the refrigerator!

    Reply
  2. Teri and the cats of Furrydance says

    March 31, 2010 at 7:13 am

    Swag Bags? Meowza…just like at the Academy Awards and the Cannes Film Festival! We can’t wait! We is bringin’ mini swag bags, too…Sweet!

    Reply
  3. ELin says

    March 31, 2010 at 2:38 am

    Play with it when they are sleeping! 😛

    Reply
  4. Marg says

    March 30, 2010 at 10:49 am

    That really is too bad you didn’t get to keep a sparkle ball but after all that are to help sell your book. So then you really will be famous. But they would be fun to play with. Have a great day.

    Reply
  5. Daisy the Curly Cat says

    March 30, 2010 at 10:12 am

    Oh come on, you have to be able to keep at least ONE for yourself!!!!

    Reply
  6. BeadedTail says

    March 29, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    They are called SPARKLE balls for a reason! Geesh!

    Reply
  7. Fin says

    March 29, 2010 at 6:42 pm

    Helloooo… Sparkle Cat… SPARKLE Balls? Come on, of course they’re yours!

    Reply
  8. Misha says

    March 29, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    She won’t even let you keep one?!

    Reply
  9. CatLadyDiary says

    March 29, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    Oh honey, business is business and Mom needs to promote YOUR book!

    Reply
  10. Martha A. Cheves says

    March 29, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    I bet you have one happy cat!

    Reply
  11. Ingrid King says

    March 29, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    She didn’t even let you keep ONE Sparkle ball? Sheesh – humans! But I’ll bet you anything you’ll have way more fun with the box anyway.

    Reply
  12. The Creek Cats says

    March 29, 2010 at 8:40 am

    LOVE the third picture! Too cute! Maybe you will sell lots and lots of books and your mom will buy you a whole canister of sparkle balls!

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Aby-a-Day – March 19: Even when it’s not all about Jake…Somehow, it’s still all about Jake « says:
    March 19, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    […] loves Sparkleballs. I mean, she loves them. She carries them around the apartment, she croons to them in an eerie, […]

    Reply

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