Reading the Fine Print

As many of you know, in addition to my current book, I have been in negotiations with a publishing company to write a second book of cat-to-cat advice. My human sent the final contract to her attorney for fine-tuning… and the lawyer sent me the bill! For that amount of money, she should have made sure the contract included a new cat tree in the advance.

Since it didn’t, I let my human deal with paying it. I’m a cat after all — I should be left alone to do what I do best: playing with Da Bird and shunning the dog from the safety of my office. All the technical stuff should be left for humans to do. That is what they’re there for.

 

My human and I are continuing our debate over what constitutes a decent meal. She keeps trying to force “healthy” food on me, while I’d prefer having a diet made up completely of treats. Finally, she came home with this stuff, which seems to split the difference between the two: it’s a nearly all-meat wet treat. I couldn’t wait to try it.

 

Unfortunately, the moment my human got the container halfway open, who should show her face but that pig, Binga. In spite of my polite hints, I couldn’t get a bite in edgewise.

 

Finally my human made her stop so I could get some. It was good! I couldn’t help rubbing it in a little while Binga watched. But eventually I had enough and let her eat the rest.

 

It was also my human’s birthday month. She got the usual flowers and stuffed toy from her boyfriend. I think he should give her a brand new cat tree (hint, hint).

 

All I got was the bow. I didn’t like it, so my human gave it to Binga, who wasn’t thrilled with it either.

 

Then my human and her boyfriend went off to an event held by a pet product distribution company. They returned with stuff for me to check out. I wasn’t sure about the treats. The little brush, on the other hand ruled!

 

It’s retractable, so after my human brushes me, she can easily remove the fur. So now she brushes me a lot. That was a score!

 

Eventually the book contract, with a few minor tweaks, came back for my approval. I was very upset when I looked it over — still no mention of a cat tree!

My human promised me that if the book sold enough copies, she would get me a new cat tree as a bonus. So I gave it my pawprint of approval.

 

»August 2009