As everyone knows, cats don’t need to make New Year’s resolutions because we are already flawless beings. The same is not true for humans. Unfortunately, my human does not believe in making resolutions, so I will have to do it for her. Here is my list.
New Year’s Resolution #1:
Cut out all carbs and sweets from your diet
Those carbs and sweets only clutter up your plate, and you cannot give them to me as treats, so why have them there at all? More meat means more kitty treats!
New Year’s Resolution #2:
Join a gym
You take up the whole living room jumping around with your dumb exercise DVDs — space that could better be used by us cats to do our exercise. So join a gym — go exercise elsewhere and leave the living room to us.
New Year’s Resolution #3:
Recycle less cardboard boxes
I am sick, sick, sick of having my favorite boxes getting thrown away all the time, so stop it! The boxes are already recycled… as toys for us cats. So they don’t need to be thrown in the blue bin.
New Year’s Resolution #4:
Help more homeless kitties
You always talk about helping out at the local rescue, but how often do you really go there? At the very least, maybe you can bring your fancy camera and take some photos of the cats, or even videos. That would also mean that maybe I could get a much-needed break from modeling duties now and again.
New Year’s Resolution #5:
Sell more copies of my book
I was promised a new cat tree if my book went into royalties. Well, it is still a long way off from that, so you need to get your butt into gear. I did my part by promoting it all over the internet. You need to get out in the real world and move some copies!
So do you kitties have any New Year resolutions for your humans?