It took my human long enough, but she finally found that calico stray a home.
By then, of course, I was starting getting used to her. She certainly knew how to play!
But she did have some weird habits, like her fixation with water.
And she destroyed one of my favorite toys.
Then my human began pulling all sorts of other, smaller boxes out of this big box. They were filled with fake, brushy branches. I took a bite out of one, but it wasn’t very tasty.
So here were these branches all over the floor. My human started putting them together and it began making sense, in a weird way.
Eventually she moved the fake tree to the room where the cat tree is. The cat tree was moved to a different corner of the room to make room for the fake tree.
Then my human brought out a big can that appeared to be full of cat toys. But, much to our disappointment, they weren’t meant for us at all — she hung every last one of them on this fake tree. What a gyp. Even worse, she hung the dullest, most boring ornaments on the bottom, at our eye level. We weren’t even compelled to bat at them.
And then there’s the stupid modeling thing. My human tried getting me to pose with a fake poinsettia in my collar. (At least she was smart enough not to try it with a real poinsettia — they’re poisonous to cats.) I really didn’t want to wear this thing. I did everything I could to ruin every last shot.
Unfortunately she managed to sneak in a good photo.
Luckily things got better around Christmas.
But of course I didn’t really care about the presents. They weren’t even for me anyhow. The really good stuff was the wrapping paper and the ribbons.
Then my human showed us all our gifts. Some were hanging from the fireplace mantle.
Other presents were sitting under the tree. When Boodie saw them sitting there, she decided to add a little present of her own — some toy mouse she dug up from who-knows-where.
We were quite pleased with our wrapping paper packages… and then we realized that there were actually cat toys in them.
My least favorite toy was the “Cy-Purr Mouse.”
And since Binga wasn’t around, Boodie got a chance to play with it without getting beaten up.
Just when I had decided that Christmas wasn’t so bad after all, my human ruined it by bringing out one of her horrible “surprises.”
Maybe not, since she proceeded to torture us with them. Binga’s looked dumb, and Boodie is so fluffy you could barely see she was wearing hers.
My human gave up on Boodie completely and put hers on Binga. Binga was thoroughly offended.
I was appalled — I couldn’t believe she got me yet another clown collar!
I got fed up with her attempts to make me festive and hid behind her old printer until she promised to take the hideous thing off. Geez. If I wanted to be in the circus, I’d run away and join it. So much for “happy holidays!”