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You are here: Home / Diary / A Tortie Guide to World Domination

A Tortie Guide to World Domination

June 27, 2013 By: Sparkle Cat45 Comments

Don't tell her but she does NOT dominate ME!

There is regular Cat World Domination, and then there is… Tortie Cat World Domination! Like with everything else they do, tortoiseshell cats take it a step farther. And look no further than Binga to have her very own set of rules. Here they are:

1a. If somebody disagrees with you, whap them.

1b. If somebody has more food than you, whap them.

1c. If somebody looks at you funny, whap them.

1d. When in doubt, whap them.

2. Make sure you get all the treats.

3. When humans are eating, you get some too. If they are reluctant to give you your fair share, walk right up to the plate and demand it. “Demand” means “take.”

4. Extreme purring is not a gift; payment is expected.

5. Petting is allowed and accepted gratefully, but tummy petting shall be punished.

6. Everything in the house, including the bed, all the food (human and feline), the dog and the humans belong to the tortoiseshell cat.

7. Bite when extremely annoyed.

8. Strangers are invited to worship. Or else.

9. Everyone is dirty and needs to be licked clean.

10. Tortoiseshell cats shall never be denied.

* * *
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Comments

  1. Ms. Phoebe says

    July 2, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    Binga my fellow tortie ladycat- mew are a Queen! I too pledge allegiance to these rules and am going to share them with my friend and fellow tortie ladycat Marjie Girl who is the founder and leader of the Tortie Army on Facebook! I know she is going to love this! *salutes Binga her fellow tortie soldier for World Domination*

    Reply
  2. Jobi and Fisher says

    June 29, 2013 at 1:23 am

    Well done, Binga. You are definitely organized – carry on!

    Reply
  3. Clooney says

    June 28, 2013 at 11:19 pm

    Binga, we wouldn’t want to be on your bad side…but you rock girl!

    Reply
  4. The Kitties of Purring Pines says

    June 28, 2013 at 8:23 am

    MOL!!! We need to incorporate those rules into ours!!!

    Reply
  5. maggieTKat says

    June 28, 2013 at 5:36 am

    It is very sad that torties have to publish these rules. They are scientific law and we all should know! Tortietude rocks.

    Reply
  6. CATachresis says

    June 28, 2013 at 2:11 am

    I am so glad I am a well behaved and balanced tuxie!

    Reply
  7. d'ArtagnanRumblepurr (@rumblepurr) says

    June 28, 2013 at 1:46 am

    *nodding and slowly backing away*

    Reply
  8. Dash Kitten says

    June 27, 2013 at 10:02 pm

    Mum is currently choking on her coffee with laughter.

    No RILLY Miss Sparkle – this is postively incendiary * hurries to close browser window before Sunty Sienna (A TORTIE) sees the subject matter…..

    😆

    Reply
  9. Spitty the Kitty says

    June 27, 2013 at 9:35 pm

    4,5,7,10. Fer sure. Maybe 9 is a Tortie dealio? Cause I think it’s disgusting.

    Reply
  10. Glogirly & Katie says

    June 27, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    Get me a DNA test, STAT!!! I think Waffles is a TORTIE!
    ; ) Katie

    Reply
  11. Baby Tali says

    June 27, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    Yep..that is my Aunt Susie for sure..all I have to do is walk past her and she whaps me..She says thanks for educating everyone..and Torties Rule..Ouch..she just whapped me again! 😈

    Reply
  12. Oui Oui says

    June 27, 2013 at 8:03 pm

    Hee, hee! Isn’t that part of their charm? We had a little tortie and she didn’t whap when she wanted something. She grabbed a big old mouthful of hair and pulled. Hard.

    Reply
  13. Cathy Keisha says

    June 27, 2013 at 7:50 pm

    Pop started following you and he had to read me this blog cos he thought it was so funny. I was surprised to find out I have so much in common with Binga. #7 is definitely my favorite.

    Reply
  14. The Island Cats says

    June 27, 2013 at 6:44 pm

    Wow, now that’s some dominating!

    Reply
  15. Fraidy Kats! says

    June 27, 2013 at 5:41 pm

    well, we aren’t Torties but we’d sure like to adopt Binga’s rules 😀
    Love her picture – she has the greatest expressions 🙂

    Pip, Smidgen, Minnie, HOllie

    Reply
  16. Savannah's Paw Tracks says

    June 27, 2013 at 5:11 pm

    oh Binga!! Mom’s cat before me, Tasha was a Tortie, and I think she must have helped with those rules for Tortie World Domination…but she would definitely have added “If there is a human playing with a wand, the Tortie ALWAYS get her turn first…others can wait”…just a suggestion; paw pats, Savannah

    Reply
  17. Madi and Mom says

    June 27, 2013 at 3:48 pm

    BINGA 6 AND 8 ARE GOSPEL FOR SURE.
    HUGS MADI
    PS AND WHEN MY PEEPS PET ME I HAVE TO IMMEDIATELY CLEAN TO GET THE COOTIES OFF MY GORGEOUS BOOOOODDDDY

    Reply
  18. Flynn says

    June 27, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

    Reply
  19. Sparky Spitfire says

    June 27, 2013 at 2:52 pm

    it’s like it should be engraved in stone somewhere…like at the Capitol…Mt. Rushmore…somefing like that…

    Reply
  20. Sweet Purrfections says

    June 27, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    Sweet Praline was a tortie, but she didn’t whap a lot. However, #10 would fit her diva tortie personality purrfectly.

    Reply
  21. Abby says

    June 27, 2013 at 1:15 pm

    :mrgreen: Whap them! :mrgreen:

    Reply
  22. da tabbies o trout towne says

    June 27, 2013 at 11:43 am

    binga…may I hire you for a few days…that’s all they need to get whapped into shape…I can pay you in cash; or I can open you a line of credit at the store of your choice if you prefer…let me know….hugs from dai$y =^..*=

    Reply
  23. Katie Bella says

    June 27, 2013 at 11:24 am

    Binga, you and Admiral are/were exactly alike.

    Reply
  24. BeadedTail says

    June 27, 2013 at 10:46 am

    I agree that there should be a Tortie World Cat Domination Day Binga but I’ve never whapped anybuddy or anything before. The only things I do are #6, #8 and #10. I absolutely LOVE my tummy being petted especially since I usually lay upside down on everybuddy inviting them to scritch my belly! Mommy says I’m Tortie mixed with slug so maybe that’s why we’re so different.

    Purrs,
    Isabella

    Reply
  25. Pasha says

    June 27, 2013 at 10:27 am

    We were just wondering: is there any hissing accompanied with all of those whappings?

    Reply
  26. Brian says

    June 27, 2013 at 9:52 am

    Way to go Binga, you covered them nicely!

    Reply
  27. mariodacat says

    June 27, 2013 at 9:00 am

    We’ve always heard about the Tortietude – guess there really is one then.

    Reply
  28. Feline Yogi says

    June 27, 2013 at 8:40 am

    Excellent rules Binga! I need to work on number three and just take the food off my human’s plate that I want instead of waiting. Thanks for the inspiration. Meow and Namaste! ~ Pippy the Feline Yogini

    Reply
  29. Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101) says

    June 27, 2013 at 8:33 am

    If Binga visited our house she’d pussywhip our boys in no time 😈

    Reply
  30. Kitties Blue says

    June 27, 2013 at 8:32 am

    Yeah Binga! Torties rule! Well that’s what Astrid and Calista think! They really like #4. They are huge purrers, but it is definitely not done gratuitously. They want to say thanks for bringing torties to the world’s attention and ask that you continue to help spread the word of their superiority. We may not all agree, but purrs and hugs anyway, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette

    Reply
  31. Samantha, Clementine & Maverick says

    June 27, 2013 at 8:28 am

    Oh my!~! Those are some great rules Binga!! Have a wonderful day!!
    We want to thank you and Sparkle for being our furiends!
    Hugs from your TX furiends,

    Reply
  32. William says

    June 27, 2013 at 8:26 am

    Binga, I totally get it! My old sis Olivia had her rules of engagement too and trained ALL of us!

    Reply
  33. Grace says

    June 27, 2013 at 7:46 am

    Whoa – good reminder to avoid torties – Perhaps I will stick with laid-back orange cats and super-smart striped tabbies…

    Reply
    • Grace says

      June 27, 2013 at 7:49 am

      Whoops that comment came out all wrong…Where is the delete button?

      Reply
  34. Selina says

    June 27, 2013 at 7:32 am

    I just love all this WHAPPIN’! You go, Binga!

    Whappy purrz,
    Selina

    Reply
  35. Amelia Hughes says

    June 27, 2013 at 6:21 am

    Binga, Binga, Binga! She really rules the world…and is adorable doing it too!

    Reply
  36. Riley Cat says

    June 27, 2013 at 6:16 am

    Sounds like my rules but change the tortoiseshell to Riley Cat 🙂

    Reply
  37. HH and the Boys says

    June 27, 2013 at 5:36 am

    OMC what a list of rules…….. tortie’s know how to make up a list of stiff rules.

    Have a great Sunglasses Day.

    hugs, Bugsy and Knuckles

    Reply
  38. speedyrabbit says

    June 27, 2013 at 5:04 am

    Sounds a Great list of do’s and don’ts,xx Speedy

    Reply
  39. Marg says

    June 27, 2013 at 4:01 am

    Oh those rules sound so familiar. We have three torties here and they all go by those rules exactly. But thanks for the reminder Binga. Take care.

    Reply
  40. Toby & Leia says

    June 27, 2013 at 3:16 am

    Binga just knows what she wants, that’s all. Which is… well… everything!

    Reply
  41. prancer pie says

    June 27, 2013 at 3:03 am

    Seems like everything is in order, here! MOL!

    This makes us miss our girl, Princess. When in doubt.. WHAP!

    Happy Thursday!

    Reply
  42. Sometimes, Cats Herd You says

    June 27, 2013 at 3:01 am

    We’re pretty sure those rules can be applied to ginger cats, too.

    Reply
  43. Mr Puddy says

    June 27, 2013 at 1:45 am

    Ha..Ha..Ha…OMC ! Your rules are too funny !!!
    Mom and Me laugh till cry 😆
    Mom will share this on FB cause my aunty got a great tortie boss..tee..heh

    Thanks for visited my blogoversary and I heard YOU MISS ME, Miss Sparkle 😉
    Miss you all too
    xoxo

    Reply
  44. Hannah and Lucy says

    June 27, 2013 at 1:13 am

    We’re just wondering if those rules could be bent to include tuxies and tabbies.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

    Reply

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