French Cats Don't Get Fat

French Cats Don’t Get Fat
By Henri de la Barbe (Henry Beard)

I think it’s pretty obvious I don’t need a diet book, but this one intrigued me, mainly because the human version was sitting around here for a while some months ago (my human was writing her own review). Besides, the kitty on the book’s cover had a sleek, svelte physique not unlike mine. I was curious to see if she revealed any secrets that even I may not have known.

Well, it turns out that in addition to sharing such admirable figures, French cats and I have a lot in common. We both understand that food is meant to be savored in reasonable portions, that exercise should be pleasurable, and that attitude and the way one carries oneself is everything. There are gourmet recipes scattered throughout the book, but alas some of the ingredients are hard to come by where I live. “Vole au Vent,” for example, sounds heavenly, but I have never seen a vole in this part of the country. Nor have I ever seen a shrew, but if I do run across one, at least I’ll know how to make a shrewfflé. (“Bat it back and forth with paws for several minutes. When it stops moving, it is done to perfection.”)

Sprinkled throughout this charmingly slim volume are bon mots (“never pout — exact revenge”), and there are even calorie counts for various activities (I had no idea that searching for missing cat toys burns up to 400 calories!). But I’m not sure how it will go over with most American cats. The two I live with are lazy pigs. We cats who truly understand how to combine sensual pleasures with healthy living are few and far between.