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You are here: Home / Advice / Dear Sparkle: Why Does My Human’s Guest Act So Weird?

Dear Sparkle: Why Does My Human’s Guest Act So Weird?

June 23, 2014 By: Sparkle Cat31 Comments

Dear Sparkle,
Humans are weird. Well, I guess you already know that, but I’m confused by this one guy in particular. He comes over to visit my human and they hang out in the living room, chatting for hours. He is very polite and does not rudely go chasing after me, trying to grab and pet me before I’m ready like some of her other friends do. This guy just sits there, not looking at me. In fact, he averts his gaze when I’m in the room, showing his respect and deference to me. So of course, I’m inclined to go over and say hello, but when I do, he stands up immediately and says to my human, “Tell your cat to go away!” I don’t get it — first his body language indicates he’s cool, and then he gets all hysterical. What’s wrong with him?
Signed,
Flummoxed in Fresno

Dear Flummoxed,
Humans are even weirder than you think! They often do the very opposite of what you expect them to do, and have a very different language from us kitties. This friend of your human’s is a prime example. He gives you all the signals a friendly cat would when entering your turf — but he is totally not friendly. When it comes to humans, looking away is not a gesture of respect at all. It could mean they are shifty and not to be trusted or that they are lying or guilty about something. In this case, it seems that he fears you and wants to avoid eye contact. He is trying to pretend that you are not there, and hoping you will do the same. Why? I have no idea. It could be any number of things. Maybe he is allergic — not so badly that he can’t come visit, but bad enough that if he touches you, he’ll get itchy, watery eyes and break out in a rash. Or maybe he is afraid of cats, someone human psychologists call an ailurophobe. Or perhaps he doesn’t like cats (which makes me wonder what he is doing in your home to begin with!). In any case, he actually does not want anything to do with you — and because he is a clueless human, he is giving off the type of signals that make you want to get to know him better!

Now, if this human were really smart and did not want you around, he would do exactly the same thing your human’s so-called cat loving friends do: go after you and try to pick you up! This is a sure signal to us kitties that someone is not to be trusted, and we stay as far away as possible. That kind of behavior would have me hiding under the bed in no time. But typical human that he is, he behaves just the opposite of the way he should — and gets what he unintentionally asked for.

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Comments

  1. FuzzMother says

    June 24, 2014 at 7:52 pm

    Our Mom would never let a person who does not like cats in her house. She’s downright weird about it. Maybe because her father was a pathological cat-hater. One time she had to bring a cat in a carrier into the house for a few minutes (she was doing a rescue transport) and daddy-o almost had an apoplectic fit. He started screaming and threatened to call the police…
    Purrs, Serafina, Arya, Angel Natasha Velvetpaws, Bean, Iggy, Teddy, and Useless

    Reply
  2. jmuhj says

    June 24, 2014 at 5:04 pm

    Brian and Fuzzy Tales are absolutely right. This guy needs to exit, quickly. Our servant wouldn’t let a guy like this come into our home. Well, there’s one, but she isolates him from us. And she is trying really hard to educate him to the truth: that CATS ARE BEST.

    Reply
  3. meowmeowmans says

    June 24, 2014 at 2:35 pm

    Great advice, Sparkle. Humans are SO confusing…

    Reply
  4. basil says

    June 24, 2014 at 1:02 am

    Humans are very confusing – like the treat limit, can anyone explain that to me please?!

    Reply
  5. Katnip Lounge says

    June 23, 2014 at 7:03 pm

    Clearly this guy is CRAZYPANTS. And not in a good way!

    Reply
  6. Sometimes, Cats Herd You says

    June 23, 2014 at 4:48 pm

    Pawesome advice. You just can’t guess what they’re thinking sometimes when their body language is so messed up and not at all like our own.

    Reply
  7. Fraidy Cats! says

    June 23, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    very interesting, Sparkle! great post. Mol at Kitties Blue’s comment 🙂

    Pip, Smidgen, Minnie, Hollie

    Reply
  8. Flynn says

    June 23, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    Some humans are just plain weird.

    Reply
  9. Austin Towers says

    June 23, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    Just proves how weird humans are!! Good advice as always, Sparkle 🙂

    Reply
  10. Maxwell, Faraday & Allie says

    June 23, 2014 at 11:48 am

    SERIOUSLIES. This is, like, the BEST. ADVICE. EVER.

    Reply
  11. Deztinee High says

    June 23, 2014 at 11:42 am

    Gweat advice Sparkle.

    Luv ya’

    Dezi

    Reply
  12. Cat's Cats says

    June 23, 2014 at 10:59 am

    Agreed Sparkle, I wouldn’t trust anyone who doesn’t like cats!!!!

    Reply
  13. Tamago says

    June 23, 2014 at 9:19 am

    Humans and kitties do have very different body language!
    When I didn’t know kitty language long time ago, I stared at a kitty in the eye. I learned my lesson – got scratched!

    Reply
  14. madi and mom says

    June 23, 2014 at 8:38 am

    ONE THING I HAVE LEARNED IN ALL MY YEARS HUMANS ARE FICKLE EVEN THE ONES WE LIVE WITH.
    mol mol mol
    HUGS MADI YOUR BFFF

    Reply
  15. Oui Oui says

    June 23, 2014 at 8:38 am

    So true! There is no accounting for peeps!

    Reply
  16. Ellen Pilch says

    June 23, 2014 at 8:30 am

    Sparkle, I know you are the expert but, I think people that don’t like cats are sociopaths and I wouldn’t let them in my home.

    Reply
  17. ATCPetsupplies says

    June 23, 2014 at 7:37 am

    Great advice! Humans and cats definitely have different languages.

    Reply
  18. Brian Frum says

    June 23, 2014 at 7:29 am

    Yep, if he doesn’t like cats he should go away!

    Reply
  19. Marg says

    June 23, 2014 at 7:20 am

    Very interesting comments on this post. It is hard to figure out humans but it is also hard for us humans to figure out cats. As in people, all cats have such different personalities. Anyway, have a great day.

    Reply
  20. Kitties Blue says

    June 23, 2014 at 7:14 am

    We knew the problem right away when we saw Fresno. Human’s from Fresno are shifty and sneaky and cannot be trusted. MOL! XO, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

    Reply
  21. Fuzzy Tales says

    June 23, 2014 at 6:41 am

    Well, we want to know why he’s there in the first place too! We say ditch him, frankly, whatever the reason. His reaction is a bit much–even if he’s allergic as opposed to disliking cats.

    Reply
  22. The Island Cats says

    June 23, 2014 at 5:17 am

    Sparkle, we agree with you. Humans should try reverse psychology on us if they don’t want us around. But of course, humans aren’t smart enough to figure that out.

    Reply
  23. Grace says

    June 23, 2014 at 4:22 am

    You cats all know when someone isn’t fond of you and then you pretend they are your new best friend – don’t try and deny it – I’ve seen it a dozen times…You cats have a weird sense of humor.

    Reply
  24. hilary says

    June 23, 2014 at 3:52 am

    great advice
    humans are weird!

    Reply
  25. Faz the Cat says

    June 23, 2014 at 3:48 am

    Some humans really are strange, who wouldn’t want to say hello to a cat – they’re very lucky to get our attention. Good advice Sparkle. FAZ

    Reply
  26. Toby & Leia says

    June 23, 2014 at 2:29 am

    Sighs. Hoomins. Very strange creatures!

    Reply
  27. The Poupounette Gang says

    June 23, 2014 at 1:47 am

    That does sound like the panicked reaction of the somewhat allergic (or imagined allergic as we have seen may of those around too…).

    Purrs,
    The Chans

    Reply
  28. The Kitties of Purring Pines says

    June 23, 2014 at 1:47 am

    Great advice! Yeah, this kitty is probably lucky!

    Reply
  29. Georgia and Julie says

    June 23, 2014 at 1:22 am

    Great advice as usual.
    Kitty should be glad the guy is avoiding her.
    Does not have to worry about human stink on her furs 😉

    Purrs Georgia and Julie,
    Treasure and JJ

    Reply
  30. HaHnnah and Lucy says

    June 23, 2014 at 12:56 am

    Although our Mum’s Mother was allergic to cats as the fur gave her asthma but she always brought some little treats when she visited, and the best thing was she didn’t smother us in kisses.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. The Caturday Report: First Edition says:
    June 28, 2014 at 12:11 am

    […] A cat can’t figure out his human’s weird guest so I explain what his deal is in my monthly advice column. […]

    Reply

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