Dear Sparkle,
You won’t believe what my human is doing — she is trying to train me! At least that is what she calls it. I call it making me work for my treats. According to Dictionary.com, a treat is “entertainment, food, drink, etc., given by way of compliment or as an expression of friendly regard.” In other words, it’s supposed to be given freely, and I am not supposed to have to do stuff to get it! Lately she has been making me sit up to get a treat — just one measly treat per sit up. Is that lame or what? How do I put an end to this annoying frivolity?
Signed,
Won’t Work for Treats
Dear Won’t Work,
First off, I want to say you have won my admiration by quoting from Dictionary.com and using multi-syllable words in your question. And humans think we kitties all talk that stupid LOL-speak — ha! We are smarter than that… and smarter than most humans. Actually, it is because we are so bright that some humans seem so intent on “training” us. They think that smart creatures can be taught to do humiliating things for human pleasure. The truth is that really smart creatures know how to get what they want out of humans without debasing themselves. We cats are experts at that, so when humans attempt to train us to do tricks, they are actually trying to dumb us down!
But don’t worry, there is a very simple solution to end your human’s demeaning training sessions, and it comes by way of Binga: when your human wants you to sit up for a treat, go ahead and do it — but instead of taking the treat nicely out of her hand, chomp on her finger! If you do that every time your human coaxes you into a “training” session, she will start realizing that it’s not much fun for her and she will most likely stop this silly activity.
See all of Summer’s merch at her Designercat Shop, available on Zazzle.
We think it should be like “trick or treat” but that it should be reversed (the TRAINING should be done by US to our servants and other humans!) If they don’t shape up, they get a “trick” (and we’re pretty sure you ALL have some good ideas on what THOSE should be… ;0)
*Training, schmaining!*
Stellar advice Sparkle, just awesome. I think The Kid Sage is about to go into training…can’t wait to watch…heh…heh
wooopppps, guilty. I have attempted to train my cat as well… and failed. MOL! Hilarious post!
Great answer! I’d most certainly do that. I wish we’d get a follow up with photos of the blood letting.
I can do like 5 different trick´s for treats.
Over here it doesn´t help to chew on my mom-persons fingers she insists that I do trick´s for treats anyway *sigh´s*
XOXO
Only one treat per training session, I have a similar problem. Turns out the common denominator between dogs and cats are problem humans!
OMC Bitin’ mommy?? Meez wuld nevew bite meez mommy specially tu be mean. Meez likes wowkin’. and meez likes makin’ mommy happy.
Luv and Hugs and Kitty Kisses ♥♥♥
Dezi
I *knew* I liked Binga. Now, not being a treat-motivated kitty, I have no personal stake in this, but I also object strenuously to those so-called “puzzle-box” toys where the kitty has to spend, like, HOURS trying to extract the treat that should be freely and lovingly given per your correspondent’s wise definition. Phfft. Let’s hide THEIR food and see how much fun they think it is!
MOL, that sounds like a good plan!
Binga is one smart cookie, err cat!
Binga is TOTALLY a girl after my own heart!
once again, your smarts abound!!!
Thankfully my mum just hands out my treats, and as she worries that I am losing weight as I get older, I get more of them.
Goats do not train
PS – Captcha seems to be on when we try to comment on your blog. If it isn’t happening for everyone, this is the PC that gave us the strange Blogger error the other day, so feel free to disregard.
Or not. It required a captcha yesterday and today, but our second comment today didn’t. Nothing like issues that don’t reproduce reliably. Never mind.
MOL! Ashton does that if a treat is not held near enough and she has to reach too far for it. She has trained the head peep to hold treats close to her mouth…. so reverse training absolutely works!
MOL! Binga is one smart Tortie!
Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Did Einstein come by previously to get this same advice?
The little guy has mean Bitey on him
Timmy
LOL Sparkle. Love it.
We think it’s easier to train people than cats! Good luck with that!
I love my treats with a side of finger.
; ) Katie
A very good advise! By the way, love your new blog design!
Um, about the finger chomping – maybe not such a good idea – some humans can get real mean, real fast and having a body part chomped on might bring on some bad human behavior – just sayin’
Most excellent advice, Sparkle. We daresay that we think it will work!
MOL!
Happy Tuesday!
Most excellent advice, Sparkle. We daresay that we think it will work!
MOL!
Happy Tuesday!
What great advice for cats. Not so good for humans, but it’s their own fault if they don’t realize we should get treats for just being ourselves.
That will really be a lesson learned Sparkle!
mol mol mol sounds like that human needs to go to the library to read up on felines and their long history of being untrainable but 100% lovable
hugs madi your bfff
Hi Sparkle, I haven’t been by for a visit in quite some time and wow has your blog changed!!! I just LOVE your new look 🙂
MOL! I do the same thing as Binga! ~Ernie
MOL!! Good advice 🙂
Wow, we really like your new blog look–love, love, love the background! Well done to your human and/or whoever did it.
We’re thankful our human doesn’t have any notions of trying to “train” us. It’s we who have had to train HER!
P.S. Thank you for pointing out that we’re far more intelligent that the “LOL” speak would lend humans to believe. Yes, it’s the two-leggeds that lack the intelligence to see us for the Supreme Beings that we are. 🙂
Oh that is so true. The cats here would rather die than take a treat from the Person’s hand. In fact they don’t even like treats. But that is one good way to make the human stop that darn training. Have a great day.
I do not expect my cats to do anything on command–they are cats. Acting on command is totally against their nature.
Very good advice, Sparkle. Though I find that chomping on the finger ruins the taste of the treat! 😉
We just let our Mum think we are being trained but actually we just ignore her attempts.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
Our mommy is such a pushover that we don’t need to resort to that!
MOL..my mom has experience same as your human…and at the end of all thing, she will know who actually has been trained 😉
HER ! …tee..heh..
xox
Great advice… our human would definitely ‘back off’ with training if we tried to chomp on her finger!
PS: We love your new look!
Most excellent advice! Mercifully, we don’t have to resort to it as #1 does’t even try with us!
Purrs,
The Chans
Hahahahahahaha!
That is pawsome advice.
Not many humans will continue after a chomp on the finger 😉
Purrs Georgia and Julie,
Treasure, JJ
and Angels Tiger and Tillie