My human has just done the worst thing ever! She has this friend that she hangs out with all the time and they decided to move in together. That was bad enough, because you know how we kitties hate change. But then my human brings me to the new apartment and ugh! The other girl also has a cat! His name is Kizmo and we are expected to get along. That is so not happening. He is totally nosy and annoying and within the first couple of days, he snuck into my human’s bedroom and peed on her clothes. He steals my food and won’t let me play with his catnip toys. This guy is the roommate from hell. Is there some way to get him evicted — with or without his human?
At My Whiskers’ End
Dear Whiskers’ End,
Humans! So often they make important, life changing decisions without thinking them through — or asking their cats for advice. I am sure that if you’d had any input, you would have discouraged this move every chance you got. And you know what? I bet your annoying roommate feels the same way. If he peed on your human’s stuff, he clearly does not approve of her — or your — presence either. Kizmo has not written to me, but if he did, I bet it would go like this: “My human did a really stupid thing and roomed with some other human and her snippy cat. Every time I go over to check out this diva, I get smacked across the face. Not only that, she gets way better food than I do, and she expects me to let her play with my toys. Finally I got so annoyed with her self-centered, prissy attitude and her coddling human that I used her human’s pajama bottoms as a litter box.” It’s not so lovely seeing yourself through another cat’s eyes, is it? By the way, it is totally your human’s fault that her clothing got peed on. She probably left her things lying on the floor of her bedroom, and that was just asking for trouble.
You and Kizmo may never be the best of friends (in fact, it is highly doubtful), but you both might as well make the best of a bad situation and learn how to peacefully coexist. Remember, he did not choose this arrangement either. Since I imagine your human’s bedroom has been deemed a no-Kizmo zone, you can always go there to take a break from him, and he will probably be just as relieved to have time away from you. You might also keep in mind that humans rarely team up as roommates indefinitely — life changes, jobs change, people move. Just keep your paws crossed that you and your human’s next living situation does not include another kitty.