Dear Sparkle,
One of my favorite toys is a Teddy bear — I kill him almost every day! And when he is dead, I drag him over to my food dish and set him right next to it while I eat. For some reason, my human doesn’t like this. She always looks really disgusted and then she throws him out of the kitchen. A couple of times she has just kicked him through the doorway. She is so rude! Why is she doing this, and how can I make her treat me and my kill with respect?
Signed,
Fierce Indoor-Only Hunter
Dear F-I-O Hunter,
Your human isn’t being rude so much as she is being ignorant. She does not understand that all food tastes better after you have made a fresh kill. It’s a ritual many kitties enjoy, whether they are killing something that is actually alive, or as in your case, dealing death to something that isn’t actually living and breathing. Unfortunately, like many humans faced with cultures and rituals different from their own, yours is treating your game with disdain and disrespect.
I think this is the real question we have here: is your human teachable? Is there some way of letting her know that your habit is something pleasurable, and quite natural for a kitty to enjoy? Or maybe it’s not what you are doing, but instead, your use of your Teddy bear that upsets her. Here is an experiment: one of these days, instead of killing your Teddy bear, kill an unsuspecting bug, rat or lizard that has found its way into the house and put that by your food dish. Your human’s reaction will tell you if it’s the creature or the ritual that bothers her. If she does not give you admiring looks and shower you with praise, then clearly she has issues and I’m not sure if your problem is solvable. There are times when you must “agree to disagree,” although if she is going to continue to be a pain about your ritual, I think it’s only fair to rub it in occasionally; leave the Teddy bear (or even better, a formerly-living dead thing) next to her food dish next time!

2022 Somali Cat Calendar Starring Summer Samba
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Sparkle, you are helping cats world-wide in their efforts to train humans…a daunting task!
Dear Sparkle,
I just finished reading your two books and started implementing your tips and advice. I howled in front of the door today until the human visitors couldn’t stand it anymore and left. And I opened the fridge to steal some beef when I didn’t want the fresh chicken my mom gave me a second before. Your advice is awesome and helps me a great deal in coming up for my rights as a cat. Thank you so much.
The eternally grateful Avalon Lion 🙂
Great advice Sparkle…I mean I could see how a Teddy bear might bring out the worse in some Humans…best to try a lizard to really get to the bottom of things…
Leaving the kill next to her food dish is excellent advice. When I was a kid, my dog used to lay dead mice on my brother’s pillow.
I used to drown all my toys when I was just a little Boycat, but now I prefer them dry. It is perfectly understandable to ME why this kitteh likes having her fresh kill near her dish. Idiot Human!
Tommy hunts during the night… his favorite kill include- the black rat toy, sardine toy, a blue football, and a catnip teddy bear. He likes to leave his kill somewhere- where some half- awake person going to the bathroom in the middle of the night will step on them.
We think the human is rude! She shouldn’t kick the bear!!
Sparkle
YOU are brillant.
purrs
>^,,^<
♥Abby♥
great advice Sparkle! It’s so hard to educate humans!
Yes, those ignorant humans are to blame again. Happy summer solstice!
I (Shadow) take all my dead things to the food dishes, Bella likes to leave them on the bringer of food’s bed. The humans don’t mind, except when we kill bugs and then bring them to their table!
Excellent advice, Sparkle! And may we add perhaps F-I-O Hunter prefers to have a dining companion? Eating solo is such a bummer.
By the way, that was me, Angel!
Great advice Sparkle! I kill my toy mousies every night and take them to my mommy so she can step on them first thing in the morning to make sure they are really deaded.
Beans are just hopeless at being trained. Sumtimes I hafta whine and whine to get treats.
Milo xx
Training humans respect is a nearly impossible task and Sparkle, while your advice is excellent, please remind your readers that it is not their fault if their human is intractable with training. I, myself, am still working on getting the male to worship me but he refuses, thinking I should worship him.
I always find a toy mousie or a scrunch ball floating in the water dish. I can only imagine it was put there for safe keeping because it is beside the food bowl! My kitties always make me smile 🙂
Oh Sparkle – you are a wise one, for sure.
Ah-ha! So that’s why I leave toys or formerly-alive things by my food dish sometimes.
Whoa! A human who kicks a stuffie? That human has more problems than just not understanding kitteh rituals. Someday she might be kicking kitteh through the door.
And now our mama knows why Andy puts his little mousies in his food dish!!!!!!!!!!
xxxxxxxxxxx
I agree, great advice fur sure, but some humans need lots of help understanding what is happening!
Great advice! We hope that human realizes how much fun it is to eat deaded things!
Tell, your ooman if could be worse – it could be a dead mouse that you bring in the house, or a snake. shudder!
We’ve never brought anything to to sit next to us at meal times – are we abnormal?
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
Teddy does this too. I just thought he was being a goon.
We agree Sparkle, that human is being very unreasonable. We all love to show our kill to the Mom. That human should be thrilled that the kitty wants to show her his good work. Good advice. Take care.
That’s fascinating! What a clever kittie you are. So are toys in the waterdish being drowned instead of hunted?? 🙂
I am always finding toys in the water dish! I thought they just wanted to go for a swim!
Yep, Sparkle ! Great answers and I just read similar question in FB too, and human woman just don’t get it and treat her son with no respected !!!
xoxo
So THAT is why i put my best rattley mouse in the food bowl? I dint know. Cool!
Iza