Dear Sparkle,
I think my human brought me home from the shelter with good intentions, but things started going downhill between us pretty quickly. See, the problem is she is never here. She goes away early in the morning and doesn’t come back until the evening. She does this most days, so I have to figure out ways to entertain myself… except that everything I do seems to upset her. Take today, for example. I ate most of my breakfast, but I wasn’t hungry anymore, so I knocked the dish over and batted the kibble around the kitchen floor. That was fun and I was sliding back and forth, but I accidentally knocked my water dish over while I was playing. I was hungry later, so I jumped on the kitchen counter to see if there was anything good there… and I’m afraid I knocked a couple of dishes onto the floor, and they shattered. That spooked me so I wound up knocking over a couple more things in my mad dash to hide under the bed. Then after I calmed down, I jumped on the dining room table and crawled under one of the placemats for a good, long nap. That’s where my human found me when she came home, and boy, was she mad! She said I made a “big mess,” and I should not have been on the kitchen counter or furring up the placemats. In fact, she called me the “worst cat ever!” This sort of scene happens all the time between the two of us. I am beginning to think she does not like me. Is there some way I can salvage this relationship?
Signed,
BEST Cat, Not Worst Cat!
Dear BEST Cat,
You do not sound like a bad cat to me at all. You sound like a bored cat, and it’s your human who is the “worst human ever” for doing nothing to cure your boredom, and then getting mad at your attempts to entertain yourself. We kitties are actually very good at finding fun things to do, but unfortunately humans call it “trouble.” If they want to avoid that, they need to find ways to give us a good time while they are out of the house doing whatever it is they do all day (I am assuming yours is doing that thing called “work” that they all hate, but spend most of their time doing anyhow). It’s almost a sure bet that you don’t have any toys or cat trees, and I bet you don’t even have a good window perch so you can see all the goings-on outside. When your human brought you home from the shelter, she should have invested in all of that, and more. In fact, a cat tree, window perch and a variety of toys should have been waiting for you the moment you came in the door. Plus, no matter how tired your human is when she walks in the door from a long day of doing whatever it is she does, she should spend some quality time playing with you and your favorite toys. Considering your penchant for batting around kibble, I’d say at the very least start with small, lightweight mice or plastic rings, or perhaps one of those round plastic or rubber toys that dispense treats when whapped just the right way. And of course, a variety of scratchers, and that all-important window perch. She doesn’t even have to actually buy a perch — she can just place some furniture next to a window for you to sit on. If you had all this, you would not have time to be “bad” or cause what humans refer to as “trouble.”
If your human has not figured out this solution on her own by now, you may have to show her this column yourself. And if she is worth anything as a cat person, she will feel like a very bad human for not realizing how unhappy you were, and immediately go out and get you everything you need to be a happy, good kitty.

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the first time I did this my human knew exactly what to do the next day he went right down to the pet shop and bought me a cat tree taller then him and some of the really good catnip mice
This is the best piece of advice ever! That cat should report her human to the Humane Society or something. Bet her staff doesn’t tweet or blog for her either. Soon, through no fault of my peeps, I’ll have a nice wide windowsill but no bird tv. Maybe that cat needs some cat sitter videos, even though they don’t float my boat.
Us humans can be very ignorant and stupid sometimes when it comes to our pets. Mostly though, I think we really try hard to give our pets the best–at least i do! I like watching that cat show on Animal Planet about people who have “trouble” with their cats and call in the cat behaviorist to help them out. Last week it was about s Sphinx cat–his humans were very stupid until the behaviorist explained the cat needed high places and a cool place to hang out.
You’re my Hero Sparkle. There is no such thing as a Bad Cat (wellllllllll, maybe there are cats with Bad Attitudes, like me), but there ARE bad Humans, or at least clueless ones.
Now, my Human goes out hunting the green papers FAR MORE than I approve of, but I do have my most excellent cat tree and many other window perches, plus lots of toys, plus may bags and tunnels (it’s not HER fault I am afraid of them, ha ha. She did notice today that the two toys she put in the bag somehow got out–was it me? Hmmmm.) This poor kitty’s Human needs some help!
Great advice Sparkle! This is why my mama leaves out lots of toys for us. She also sometimes remembers to put on our Catsitter DVD. A sisfur or a brofur to play with is also a great idea.
That’s some excellent advice, Sparkle! We hope Best Cat’s human reads this!
Such excellent common sense advice, Sparkle! You should never get angry at a cat for doing cat-like things. And every kitty needs lots of attention — why have one if you just want to ignore it?
Great advice! That’s why our Mom has two of us, and she makes sure we have access to as many windows as possible.
Bravo Sparkle
This was very well written!
Purrs
Abby
Maybe the kitty needs a friend. Sherpa needed a friend so the publicist got Harry
Wonderful advise Sparkle!!! Bored is awful and needs cured at once!
Great advice and now all you ahve to do is get the human to listen to it.. I think you are a fabulous cat if my opinion counts.. Hugs GJ x
Your advice is right on Sparkle! That human is the bad one but hopefully she straightens up so everybuddy is happy!
Poor kitty. Bad human. You tell her, Sparkle!
Hear, Hear, Sparkle!
This is excellent advice. My mom must have gotten that advice somewhere along the line, cuz we have lots of toys, windows to look out, a cat tree, and everything a cat could want to stay busy while Mom’s out day hunting.
Yes Sparkle I think you are right. Boredom and it’s the person’s responsibility to see that we are entertained…
Great advice Sparkle! But maybe she’s not bored, maybe she’s a budding CFH!!!
{{{giggle}}}
Nellie
Excellent advice, Sparkle! Bored kitties = naughty kitties.
We think a brother or a sister would be a good start and several baskets of toys and cuddly blankies to hide in. Now for after lunch we must think what might entertain you!!
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
Excellent advice. Another cat for companionship might be nice, too. 😀
That poor kitty so bored and probably lonely too. You are right Sparkle, he needs distraction and fun and maybe a little brother or sister to play with 🙂
Wow, this cat sounds like me! Although, Marmie leaves me with lots and lots of toys during the day, you never know what toys of my own I will find! Usually it’s tomatoes or onions from the counter…
More toys for kitties! That could be our slogan.
Great advice, Sparkle. I hope that human listens to it… I’m sure that will make things better.
pawhugs, Max
Great advice Sparkle. That is all so true. That kitty just needs something to do. Hope that human starts to behave better really soon. Hope all of you have a super Thursday.
You are soo smart Sparkle. That should get that human whipped into shape in no time.
Purrz