Dear Sparkle,
Sparkle, I am traumatized! My human is doing this thing called “spring cleaning!” It involves lots of noise and fuss, and worse of all, she wiped off all my sleeping places! My scent is gone… how do I stop this madness?!
Signed,
Clean Is Obscene
Dear CIO,
For all the perks — a never-ending supply of fresh food and cat toys, cushy sleeping spots and free massages — life with humans does have its downsides, and spring cleaning is one of them. Some kitties (including myself) are fortunate in that we have never been subjected to this type of mania, but it does not stop us from feeling bad for cats like you, with fanatically clean humans… or at least, humans who get a fanatically clean bug up their behinds once a year. In fact, the once-a-year cleaning humans are the worst because that means that months of furring up furniture and scent marking can be destroyed all at once! But the bad news does not stop there: so far, no cat has figured out how to put an end to this insane human behavior.
Here is our dilemma: we cats are fantastic at making a house a real home. We rub up against every vertical surface to let other cats know these items belong to us. We are excellent at covering sofas, chairs and anything else we sleep in or on with our gorgeous and decorative fur. The addition of thoughtfully-placed drool, a hacked-up hairball (or a few), scattered cat litter, and some tasteful claw marks complete the picture of a happy home. Humans, for some weird reason, see a spotless house, devoid of any scent or clue that it is lived in, as their ideal home. I don’t get their fascination with sterile surroundings at all, but they work like mad to bring their houses up to this unrealistic and unappealing standard. Anything we cats might try to do to stop it — knocking over the cleaning solution, batting sponges and rags under the sofa, throwing up on the vacuum cleaner — only causes them to redouble their efforts at cleaning. Humans are a stubborn bunch. Really, about the only thing you can do is go back and re-fur and remark absolutely everything the moment your human is done cleaning it. Yes, it is a lot of work (not to mention that it shouldn’t even be necessary in the first place), but what else are you going to do? Live a joyless, scent-free life? Yep, I thought not.
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Sparkle – we so agree with you about this cleaning – when mum has had the evil dyson on we have to spend hours putting the floof back on the bed and the chairs not to mention all the carpet. It’s just about purrfect when she gives evil dyson another outing!!!
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
We’re pretty lucky at this end because #1 really is not fixated on cleaning, spring or otherwise. All we get are occasional mad dashes when guests come over, but never anything too traumatic. Phew!
Purrs,
The Chans
I know what Spring is, but what is cleaning?
Sighs. It really is a nuisance, isn’t it? But the Noisy Beast is always the worst.
As usual, Sparkle, your advice is spot on. My humans are of the maniacal occasional cleaning variety and it really bugs me.
You are a brilliant advice columnist, gorgeous Sparkle…We hope you and your lovely siblings have a fun day, sweetie…kisses…Calle, Halle, Sukki
It drives me bonkers when Marmie vaccums my furs off the couch. Humans just don’t get it, do they? You’re right Sparkle. It’s best to just deal and re-do my efforts once my presence has been erased.
You are exactly right Sparkle! It stinks when my mama cleans up everything I have worked so hard to lay down. Luckily, it doesn’t happen too often.
The publicist is like your human
It gets worse, Sparkle. Our Daddy vacuums EVERY SINGLE DAY.
What a travesty.
We are so lucky. Our human doesn’t clean very much so all our smells stay around a lot. But that was good advice for that poor kitty going through spring cleaning. Besides, there are so many of us, she couldn’t possible get rid of our scents. Have a great week end.
LOL, great advice, Sparkle!! This post reminds me that I need to wash my kids’ beds….oh I know they will be devastated. But I also know these beds will be re-furred in not time…
Well, when the humans clean everything, it just gives us an excuse to fur everything up and get our smells on everything again!!
Good advice Sparkle! We’re lucky in that our humans don’t get a cleaning bug up their behind very often!
Nice Advice , Sparkle : )
One good thing about mom do cleaning …She found my toys : )
Happy Easter
xoxo
With the hairy slobbery sisters, me and Kozmo, the vacuum can not keep up! And when the lazy humans DO clean, we has a great time getting fur and smells weverywhere…I think I feel a hairball coming on!
Nellie