Dear Sparkle,
My human thinks she is “busy,” but to me it looks like all she is doing is wasting time on the phone, running around to “appointments” and doing that work thing that all humans treat like some big deal. She never gets around to the really important things, like spending time with me! About the only time she isn’t dashing somewhere is when she is in bed, so I usually take the opportunity to crawl on top of her, pat her awake and rub up against her. Sometimes I’ll bring a toy in hopes that she’ll get up and play with me. But whenever I do any of this, she gets annoyed! She pushes me away because she is “trying to sleep.” I am feeling sorely neglected! In fact, I am ready to shred some curtains I am so frustrated. Is there anything more constructive I can do instead?
Signed,
Woefully Ignored
Dear Woefully Ignored,
You are a very considerate kitty, especially considering just how inconsiderate your human is! She ignores you constantly and brushes off your attempts for some closeness, and you are still looking for some way to solve your problem instead of ripping into a curtain the way most cats would do. I’d almost say that your human does not deserve such a nice kitty. But the truth is that neither you nor I know what is really going on with her. Maybe she does not want to be as busy as she is and she just somehow got stuck with all the things she is doing. That does happen to humans. They live by a strange, restrictive set of rules that include being places at certain times, trading their time for inedible pieces of paper and running all over town, doing activities that they don’t even think are fun. Honestly, I kind of feel sorry for humans like yours. But feeling sorry never solved a kitty’s problem.
What I think your human needs is a re-training program. She needs to stop living so much by these stressful human rules and learn how to follow some kitty rules instead. You can’t pick and choose her training hours, though — you have to work around that horrible schedule of hers. Trying to teach her at night when she is sleeping is futile — humans are resistant to learning new things when they are not awake. I suggest maybe starting when your human has just walked in the door after work or an appointment. Greet her with a cat toy, but don’t expect her to play with you — at least not right away. Instead, toss the toy around and play with it yourself. This reminds her that she needs to take time out to relax and enjoy herself, preferably with you. And when you want some company, the best time to ask for it is right when your human is getting into bed, not after she is asleep. Just before humans fall asleep, they tend to be receptive to suggestion. Using these slow, subtle tactics over time will show her that things like work and appointments and that stupid phone are trivial, especially when there is a kitty at home who needs attention. Eventually she will realize that spending time with you will give her a feeling of wellbeing and maybe she will start loosening up on the schedule. If none of this works, however, then you are perfectly justified in tearing up the curtains, and maybe leaving some well-placed hairballs for her to find.
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Great advice.. If more humans lived by kitty rules, wow, what a world it would be.
Have a great day…
Max
Great advice, I hope it helps this woeful kitteh.
Good advice as always, Sparkle.
Sparkle, how did you get to be so smart? Other that being a cat, of course.
Fabulous advice, as always, Sparkle.
Mind you, the mom woke Derry up (!) to give him some cuddles at 2:30AM, ’cause she was upset about a couple of things and finds that purring is so soothing. You know, we really ARE lucky we’re cats; we don’t lie awake upset about stuff that either might not happen at all or definitely will happen and can’t be prevented.
We think kitty rules are much better!
We wish we were as well informed as you are Sparkle.
It seems it is much easier to be a goat
My Mom and Dad do not know the kitty rules. I have just about given up, and spend my time looking out the window so long as they get around to feeding me. Sad, really. And I can’t shred curtains because I am missing my front clawrs.
More great advice Sparkle! We don’t ever let our beans have a moment to themselves so we remind them of the kitty rules all the time. Isabella lays on Daddy’s lap when he think he has to do homework. I get in front of the monitor when Mommy thinks she should be working. Just today Mommy thinks she’s going to pack up the big red box with wheels but we’re laying on it instead. The world would be a much better place if everyone lived by kitty rules!
I think that advice should be required reading!!!
Great advice Sparkle. We are sure that will work just fine and help the human too. Good stuff.
Take care and have a fun day.
We’re gonna use this advice on our mom…she hasn’t been spending enough time with us either!
That is great advice. I’m going to make my mom read this.
Our Mom is too busy these days; you are a great writer and she definitely needs to read your advice, beautiful Sparkle…Happy Friday, sweet friends…xoxo…Calle, Halle, Sukki
As you know, I’m still a big fan of the midnight wake-up call…
Wow! This is CRAZY! I feel like I could have written this my own self, and yet…I did not! Unless I am sleepwriting and the Human says that is too scary to think about! (We got our calendar this week and we were so excited we hung it up already even though it is not 2011 yet. We just like looking at you!)
I know – isn’t it odd? Especially since I wrote my advice before that particular blog post of yours was even up! Maybe you were sending out Kitty Thought Waves™… which isn’t much less scary to humans than the idea of a cat sleepwriting.
Sparkle,
Sage advice as always. We advocate a small whizz on the powder room floor when we feel neglected.
Sparkle – yous are right!!!
My Meowmy has been busy too much lately. She’s been painting and beading and ignoring me. Last night she wents into the kitchen to get some water and left her paint palette on the table. Mes jumped up and got it on my paws (normally mes hates wet paws) and Mes put a beautiful kitty foot print pattern alls over!
But was she happy?
No! She made me take a time out in the little warm room where the litter box is.
Me did not mind, but the paint tasted yucky whens mes was washing it off.
Penelope TheCatFromHell
Dear Sparkle – We are worried that the advice of bein destructive might have the opposite of the desired effect. We have heard that kitties end up in shelters that way sometimes.
We suggest a dedicated campaign of purring leg rubs, longing gazes, bringing toys ta toss, and quiet lap-sitting. A “normal” Bein would have already recognized the active negative signs of a need for attention. So perhaps a Love Campaign is the last way ta go.
If that doesnt werk, ya gotta move next door…
WOW!!!!!! We feel the same way as Spitty!!! Well,thanks for the info anyway!