Dear Sparkle,
My human has acquired this really bad habit and I would like to know how to break her of it. When I’m relaxing on her lap, she spends all her time talking on the phone. That is so rude! She’s supposed to be sitting there quietly, or petting me or giving me skritches, not hurting my ears with her incessant chatter! I don’t expect to teach her manners overnight, but I would at least like her to be quiet when I’m trying to chill. Any suggestions?
Signed,
Silence of the Lap
Dear Silence,
There really is no excuse for your human to be using the phone when you are hanging out and trying to doze. Acceptable activities are: petting you, giving you skritches (both of which you’ve mentioned), watching television, reading a book, needlework or maybe texting if she can do it without disturbing you too much. If she were doing any of these activities, she would be too preoccupied to talk on the phone. It sounds to me like she has no clue when it comes to lap etiquette, so clearly some training is in order. First you need to discourage her phone habit. When she starts talking while you are on her lap, jump off, but sit close by and begin to drown out her chatter with your own vocalizing. If she gets up and leaves the room, you can either follow her and continue to meow, or you can just stay where you are and find something fragile to knock over. Either tactic will draw your human’s attention away from the phone. Of course, you want to do more than just get your human off the phone — you also want her to sit so you can curl up on her lap. So while you are showing disapproval for one activity — her talking — you must show approval when she is behaving. Whenever she is sitting quietly, jump up onto her lap and make yourself comfortable. But do more than that — purr loudly, softly knead your paws on her lap (make sure to be gentle here, so you don’t scratch her) and rub your face against her. Gaze up at her and give her the contented, half-open eyes. Make it obvious that you love it when she is making her lap a nice place to be. But if she gets on the phone, start your disruptive tactics again. After you repeat these steps for a few days (or, for really dense humans, a few weeks), your human should get the idea and modify her behavior accordingly.
That reaminds us of a Dr.Phil we were supervising our mom watch today! That is good!
Thank you very much for that excellent advice – our mum is a phone addict and we are trying to wean her off it gradually – we think cold turkey might just be too much for her!!
Any further advice will be gratefully received.
I’ll have you know that when (if) I am on the phone (or emailing, or drinking coffee, or trying to comment on blogs), I am always scritching and letting Livvy. 😀 Cats everywhere love me.
Excellent advice, Sparkle. We hope it helps hoomins everywhere to learn better manners.
Oh gosh!! Our Mom does that, too!! Great advice Sparkle!!
Your TX furiends,
Dat’s really good advice. I do everything else but didn’t think about making noise myself. Looks like a lot of kittehs have dis problem!
Sparkle, you always give such great advice! We will have to do this to our mom too cause she tends to forget the rules of attention.
One of our kittens has come up with an original tactic: climb on his shoulders and mew with all your might in the other ear.
That is good advice. We will remember it next time she grabs that darned phone.
This is really cute Sparkle we love it!! Our human doesn’t do this activity too (talking on the phone) but she’s always on her darn computer. We’ve learned how to take care of that unwanted activity too! Thank you Sparkle!
Good advice! We will use it the next time we need Mom’s total attention.
Is we gots da same problems wif our Small One. We does preciates da sugestions. MikiCato done tooked the words you writ down (he smart and can use a pencil, but I has to sharpen it tho) and we gonna get Small One traineded.
That is sound advice for a persistent problem. I now that Koko will be more than happy to add these steps to his repertoire. He currently likes to nudge the phone with his head and also does the patty cake thing on my wife’s neck.
That’s good advice, Sparkle. We woulda said just whap the phone out of her hand…
Excellent advice! We’re going to try it because our Mom really needs some training!
Sniffie and the Florida Furkids
Thankyou, Sparkle! I have a very similar complaint to Silence of the Lap. Infact, I almost thought it was me for a moment! I will put your advice to good use.
-Fui.
That is wonderful advice. We wrote it all down so we can remember. Our Mom does this to us all the time. Talk, Talk, Talk. Bad mom.
Have a great day.
That IS great advice. . . . we’ll have to try that on Momma!
I might even try this on my mum!
Great advice as always my lovely friend!!