Advice—October 2004

Dear Sparkle,
I am a Laperm—a designer cat just like you and have beautiful curls. I love my human. She’s very good to me—she takes me for a walk everyday, and teaches me all sorts of tricks just like you. I have cat shelves in the house to jump on and lots of toys. But I don’t think she understands my breed. She has this weird idea about a “lap cat.” I have heard her talking to her friends on the phone about getting a Korat who is a “lap cat” because she wants a cat who will snuggle with her and be held. What is this confounded “lap cat” thing and how do I get it out of her head?
Signed,
Only Kitty

Dear Only,
Your human is suffering from a problem common to their species—the assumption that all cats of a specific breed will behave in expected ways. That is true only to a point. I can give you an example from my own life. My human’s previous cat was completely devoted to her and her alone. So when she was looking for a new cat, she checked out breeds that were known to bond to just one person. One of those breeds happens to be the Somali, which is how she wound up with me (also she liked the way we look). Well, it’s true, I do bond with one person, which happens to be my human. But I certainly don’t worship her the way the other cat did. I mean, how can I look up to someone who exhibits such lame behavior so often? The other cat went outside and hunted and was not interested in toys, so she never realized how terrible my human is when it comes to shopping for them. And the other cat liked to be picked up. I find more often than not that getting picked up is an invasion of my space. So yeah, I “bond” with my human, if you want to call it that. Sometimes I feel more like I’m stuck with her. So she didn’t get exactly what she was looking for. Personally I think she should be relieved that, for all her faults, I allow her to be my human.

Which brings me to your “lap cat” situation. Just because a certain breed is touted to be a “lap cat,” that doesn’t mean every last one of them will be lap cats, or at least the kind of lap cat your human desires. Korats, in fact, aren’t necessarily lap cats, according to the information out there on the internet—they’re just really needy, from what I can gather, and insist on following their humans around constantly (how boring!). They also like being the main cat in the house, which is no fun for the cat that was there first. Other than that, all the information on them is conflicting—some sources say they’re quiet, others say they’re noisy. Some descriptions report that they’re playful; others claim they’re gentle and rather timid. Everyone is basing their opinion on the Korats they’ve encountered personally, which just shows that one breed can harbor any number of personalities within it. In fact, if you look at the CFA’s breed profile for Laperms, it claims you guys are lap cats! So you’re human really has no idea what she wants—it’s all based on conjecture. She’s no more assured of getting the type of personality she wants by going after a specific breed than she would if she picked up a cat at the local pound (not that I’m trying to give her any ideas…). If she gets a second cat, it should only be as a friend to you, not something to satisfy some vague whim of hers. I don’t see anything in your breed profile that says you won’t play second fiddle to a Korat—perhaps you should write CFA and let them know that should be in there.