My humans play with me lots — my favorite is when they pull out Da Bird — but there is one game that really drives me crazy, and not in a good way. It’s the Red Dot game. The problem is I can never catch that stupid red dot, no matter how hard I try! I chase it all over the living room, I climb the walls in my attempts to capture and kill it, but it gets away from me every time. Last time, I got so frustrated that I caught and killed my human’s foot instead. She did not like that! So what can I do about that Red Dot? Do you have any tips for catching it so I can stop going nuts?
The Red Dot Must Die
Oh man, that red dot laser toy… it’s a sucker’s game. Did no one ever tell you that? I have no tips for you because there is no way you will ever catch it! That is the ugly trick your humans do not tell you when they pull it out. See, the red dot is mainly a figment of your imagination. You see it, but it doesn’t really exist. That’s why, when you corner it and pounce on it, there’s nothing there! Pouncing on nothing a few times would make me want to kill your human’s foot too. Some cats do enjoy chasing after the red dot, but others are more like you — the game ends in more frustration than fun.
Come to think of it, I do have one tip: once your humans are done making you crazy with the red dot, you should release some steam by finding something and killing it, thus completing the cycle. Obviously, your human’s foot was not a good choice. You should probably make it something that is not attached to your human’s body — another toy or maybe a bug that had the misfortune of entering your house that day. Once you have had the satisfaction of grasping something in your paws and making sure it is dead, you should feel a whole lot better. If your humans were really smart, they would put that stupid red dot away and just use toys like Da Bird instead — now that is a great, highly killable toy! Or… maybe you can teach them. The next time they pull out the red dot and get you wound up, go kill some knickknacks that are sitting on some shelves, or kill the sofa. After you have done this a few times, maybe they will figure out that the red dot is not the toy for you.