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You are here: Home / Advice / Advice – January 2012

Advice – January 2012

December 20, 2011 By: Sparkle Cat33 Comments

Dear Sparkle,
Every Christmas, my human goes on and on about how I must be a good kitty so some stranger will give me lots of presents. I’m not even sure if this stranger is a human or a cat because my human keeps changing his or her name. Sometimes it is Sandy Claws, other times it is Santa Kitty or Santa Paws. Anyhow, I get all these lectures about how I should not be bad or this stranger won’t bring me anything. It’s really annoying. And then finally it’s Christmas and I get a bunch of cool gifts and my human shuts up about this Santa-Sandy-Kitty-Claws for another year. What’s the deal? Do I really have to be good?
Signed,
Dubious

Dear Dubious,
I have a secret for you, something that humans have been hiding for many, many cat years, so you may want to make sure your humans are out of the room before you read my answer: not only is it pointless for us kitties to be good to get presents — we actually get more when we are bad! That’s right, misbehaving will get you more toys, treats and even big things like cat trees! Think about it: when we cats are destructive or when we fight with our roommates, there is always a reason for it. We are bored, we feel cramped living with other cats, there aren’t enough good scratching surfaces, etc. So your human will solve these problems by playing with you more, buying you more cool scratchers, and bringing home cat trees and shelving to give you more vertical space! They think that bringing home these things will make you behave better, and usually they are right! I don’t know where this Sandy Claws thing got started, but I can tell you, the humans have it all wrong. Maybe being good and getting rewarded for it works for them, but for us kitties, the exact opposite is true! Sure, if you behave nice, you will get gifts, but they will probably be so-so gifts, nothing all that special — stuff you will be bored with in five minutes. But if you act out, you will get gifts that are tailored specifically to what you really want! So actually, you don’t have to be good for Christmas, or any other time of year. In fact, behaving badly is more likely to earn you something really cool. Don’t let on I told you this — it is just between us kitties, okay?

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Comments

  1. Glogirly & Katie says

    December 22, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    Good to know. …now what kind of misbehaving can I conjure up to score me some salmon!
    xo Katie

    Reply
  2. Eric and Flynn says

    December 21, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    Do you mean to say we have been busting a gut being good the last few weeks for nothing???? Right that’s it!!! House trashing at our place. Everybody welcome!

    Reply
  3. Little One says

    December 21, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    Great advice agan, Sparkle. I feel that it doesn’t matter if all of us kittes are naughty or nice also. We furballs just have to give our humans a certain cutsie look and they melt with awe, hence spoiling us with gifts anyway, Christmas or not.

    Reply
  4. Diamond says

    December 21, 2011 at 3:41 am

    It all depends on what you call ‘bad’. For example it is really ‘naughty’ to tread on plates used by humans if you are a cat. But it usually is a quick way to get human attention focussed on the empty cat dish.

    Reply
  5. Buddy Bear says

    December 20, 2011 at 11:35 pm

    Good is for da beankids. Us kitties don needs no good jus for da toys and da treats. We deserves dem cause we IS. Dat nuf for da justififkautions of bein …. Bad just a nutter way of gettin us piktures taken more offens. Jus sayin ……

    Reply
  6. d'ArtagnanRumblepurr (@rumblepurr) says

    December 20, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    Then that HAM should get a BOATLOAD of xmas gifts…*gRumble*

    Reply
  7. Punapippuri says

    December 20, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    Oh yes – it’s time to be BAD!!!!! We likes this advice – officially sanctioned and approved by you, the guru of matters feline (not bad for a girlcat).
    Must dash – I’m off to shred and pee and fur and climb.

    Reply
  8. Cathy Keisha says

    December 20, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    I’ve known this for years which is why I never behave. The bigger [censored] I am, the more gifts I get. Heck, I’m getting a new cat tree this Christmas and the old one is still in one piece.

    Reply
  9. Sweet Purrfections says

    December 20, 2011 at 6:51 pm

    Cool! And we’ve been trying to be good so we can get presents! MOM!!!!!

    Reply
  10. Spitty the Kitty says

    December 20, 2011 at 6:44 pm

    Sparkle, darling, I have long suspected such a thing to be true, but I have never seed anykitty brave enough to speak this Great Truth aloud.

    You have done a great service for all Felines today, Sparkle!

    Reply
  11. The Island Cats says

    December 20, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    Thanks, Sparkle! I’m gonna go climb the tree some more so I will get lots of presents!!

    Ernie

    Reply
  12. Scout and his Mama says

    December 20, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    I believe in Santa Paws. I am asking for a new cat bed because I have outgrown my old ones. I already got a cool cat condo from my mommy and daddy. And they put something under the tree for me. I am spoiled and proud of it!

    Love, Scout

    Reply
  13. Fraidy Cats says

    December 20, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    OMC! Sparkle! This is the most awesome advice post! Ever!

    ~Minnie

    Reply
  14. Abby says

    December 20, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    Sparkle
    YOU always hit the nail right on the head!
    Paws up!!!
    purrs
    >^,,^<
    ♥Abby♥Boo♥Ping♥Jinx♥Grace♥

    Reply
  15. Daisy the Curly Cat says

    December 20, 2011 at 3:27 pm

    Oh rats. This means Harley is going to get loads of presents…

    Reply
  16. Rykerz Boyz 'n' Allie says

    December 20, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    Whisppy, you may has to RILLY rilly Apply yourself to get the Good Prezzies – but think of all the fun you’ll have being Naughty!!! HIGHPAW on the Advice, Sparkle!

    Reply
  17. Whisppy says

    December 20, 2011 at 11:27 am

    REALLY? You mean we’ve been good for just so-so stuff? Darn! Do you think 5 days of naughty is enough to get great pressies?

    Reply
  18. BeadedTail says

    December 20, 2011 at 11:22 am

    We know this is true since the Horde at the Lounge has already discovered it! You are very wise Sparkle!

    Reply
  19. Slash & Bronzy says

    December 20, 2011 at 10:40 am

    Whether we are bad or good, we think that we’ll always be grrreat!

    Reply
  20. Brian says

    December 20, 2011 at 10:05 am

    I think I shall try both…just in case!

    Reply
  21. Penelope says

    December 20, 2011 at 9:46 am

    Dear Sparlke,
    Yous is absolutely right!!! Me is always bad, or if me is not bad, me has convinced one of my minions to do something bad. My pawrents is always getting me things to stops me from being bad!
    Tee Hee
    Kisses
    Nellie

    Reply
  22. Cheysuli says

    December 20, 2011 at 9:29 am

    Well,now you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to find something bad to get into…

    Reply
  23. Pumpkin says

    December 20, 2011 at 9:23 am

    Sorry. The email and website info in my last comment are old ones. This one has the correct info. Somehow the form keeps autofilling my old info and I don’t always catch it. My bad.

    Reply
  24. Pumpkin says

    December 20, 2011 at 9:22 am

    As always your advice is spot on! We’re cats. Good and bad have no meaning. We either have enough of what we want or we don’t. If we don’t, we make sure our humans know it so they can correct the situation. If they call that being bad that’s their problem in my book!

    Reply
  25. Pricilla - Famous SpokesGoat says

    December 20, 2011 at 8:20 am

    Hmmm, I wonder if this will work with goats?

    Reply
  26. Prancer Pie says

    December 20, 2011 at 6:27 am

    Well, looks like you get toys, either way! We knows you will get a visit from Sandy Claws, Sparkle. You is always such a good girl. Merry Christmouse xoxo

    Reply
  27. Cat's Cats says

    December 20, 2011 at 5:35 am

    I think even when kitties are bad they are good 🙂

    Reply
  28. Marg says

    December 20, 2011 at 4:59 am

    Oh Sparkle, thanks for explaining that to us. We will continue to be our usual bad selves, especially our three or four kittens that live here. We were’t sure about all this Santa talk either, and now we know what is happening. Hope you have some great holidays.

    Reply
  29. Hannah and Lucy says

    December 20, 2011 at 4:59 am

    What a purrfect reason for being naughty!
    Luv Hannah an d Lucy xx xx

    Reply
  30. Max the Quilt Cat says

    December 20, 2011 at 3:41 am

    Great column Sparkle. I’m gonna read it to the boys. Watch out.

    pawhugs, Max

    Reply
  31. The Kitties of Purring Pines says

    December 20, 2011 at 3:28 am

    We’re gonna do what we want to anyway!!!

    Reply
  32. Fuzzy Tales says

    December 20, 2011 at 1:42 am

    Mom Kim: Sparkle! OMC, I can’t believe it, you’ve let the cat out of the bag, so to speak. Now feline four-leggeds everywhere will be acting out…at least until they get their presents. 😀

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Oh-oh-oh! On human gifts and furriends sharing and… Santa Paws « Texas, a cat in New York says:
    December 25, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    […] Humans aren’t as smart as we are. But I digress. Reverse psychology so. Sparkle’s post here tends to confirm my […]

    Reply

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