Dear Sparkle,
I have been living with my human for a few years now, but before me there was another cat. Apparently, this was a very special cat because my human talks of him often, and even though he died a long time ago, I think he still misses him. Sometimes this makes me wonder if I am not as good as the cat before me. I am actually pretty well behaved and don’t cause too much trouble — I keep my human company, always use my litter box and almost never use my claws on the sofa. Is there any way I can show my human that I am as good as that other cat was, anything more I can do?
Signed,
Not Second Best
Dear NSB,
Unless your human is a child, chances are many of you kitties will have to deal with the specter of “the cat that came before” — a cat in your human’s past that holds a special place in their heart. The way your human talks about this cat, you would think he or she was something exceptional, a shining beacon of felinity that no other cat could live up to. But I will let you in on a secret: I’ll bet the cat before you was pretty much just like every other cat (of course, we kitties are all exceptional creatures!). Maybe this cat had a couple of special quirks that your human found charming, but that’s not really what was important. Chances are the cat before you lived with your human during an eventful time in their life, and was there when your human needed a lot of comfort and companionship. (I know this is true of my human — her life is pretty boring now compared to what was going on when she had the cat before me… although I think she likes it better now!) So your human’s emotions have a lot more to do with his own life events than with the cat before you. It’s not really a matter of your human loving your more or less than that other cat, it means he just loves you differently. In fact, you could argue that since many of your human’s associations with that other cat are a bit centered on self, that perhaps his love for you is purer and comes without as much drama and turmoil. And that maybe, years from now when you too are gone, he will look back and realize that you helped make a nice time in his life even more joyful. So don’t worry about living up to the cat before you — your job is to be you and no other kitty.
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That’s a beautiful post, Sparkle, truly. Chumley and Annie came into my life at a very, very difficult time and so my connection with them is different than my connection with the boys. My “angels” gave me a reason to keep going, when I was contemplating a very dark path. And Annie was just so in tune with my emotions, even when she was sick last winter, before she passed. She still came to comfort *me*. The boys are a bit clueless (as was Chum) — lol. But I don’t love Nicki and Derry any less — I couldn’t ask for better companions. And I hope they know that. 🙂
-“Mom” Kim
I guess I am that other cat… the one who came before. In our house though, HH made me into the uncle and the protector. So, it all works out over here.
Great advice, Sparkle.
pawhugs, Max
That’s good advice, Sparkle.
Wise, wise, wise advice Sparkle. Always be you and nobody but the you!
As usual Sparkle, that is a great post. All animals are different and we love each one for their very own special ways and looks. That was such good advice. We can all just be ourselves and we are all going to be different. Have a great Saturday
Very good advice Sparkle – as always!
That post is so true – all of my cats has been with me through good and bad times but they all have a special place in my life for being themselves.
Hannah and Lucy’s mum Sue
Well meowed, Sparkle. Look at me: I came into my home when my brofur, Feisal, was very sick and, let’s be honest, dying. Though he didn’t go to the Bridge until 4 months after my arrival, MomKatt will, I’m sure, think of him when she loves on me. She already says she sees so much of his irrepressible purrsonality within me, and my silly antics. And of course, there was that 48-hour period following his departure where I “came into my own” before their very eyes, as I grew in confidence that no one was going to chase me again.
But I know for a FACT that MomKatt loves me ’cause I’m her “little one-eyed girl” and nobody else is that for her here in this house! Each of us kitties is special, in our own way, and we’re loved differently because of different things ’cause we’re all different … but what matters is we are all LOVED. And we each have a place in our hoomans’ lives that no other cat can fill. I can’t fill Feisal’s place in MomKatt’s heart, and he couldn’t fill mine in hers. And that’s OK.
The main thing is we’re both IN her heart. And DadKatt’s too!
PURRS and Happy Saturday my dear furriend!
Selina the grateful
Great post. Most uf us do haf, “the one who came befur”. Not better, just different. xoxo
Every kittie has their own special personality that humans fall in love. NSB, your human loves you for who you are, otherwise he wouldn’t of adopted you & brought you home.
Our Mommy has known 22 cats, and they are/have all been special in unique ways. Smart, not so smart, naughty, angelic, placid and spunky, every kitty leaves their mark on their person.
That is great advice, Sparkle! Very insightful. I hadn’t thought about it before, but I guess a big part of why Scarlett is so special is that she was my first pet as an adult, and she was there for me during some rough times. I love Melly to pieces, but I haven’t needed her like I needed Scarlett back then.
Very wise advice Sparkle since we can only be ourselves and that’s just fine because we are all special in our own way!
Excellent advice Sparkle.
Very wise advice, Sparkle. #1’s first cat, Ikkyu, lived with her for 15 years, on three continents, and through several enormous upheavals in her life. Plus, he was an only cat. So we figure it’s normal he had such a big presence. And we also know that she loves every one of us with all her heart…
Purrs,
The Chans
Excellent advice, Sparkle. Every kitty is very special in their own way.
Excellent advice! All God’s children are special!
Purrrfect advice Sparkle…even I have a special place in my heart for those who came before…my bestest furriend and mentor Jonathan ::bows head in honor:: was a very special cat to both me and my momma Ellie as well as my human mom. So I understand how she feels about all of our guardian angels.
That was great advice, Sparkle! We live in the “shadow” of Scooter, the one that came before us. He was really special to our mom. But she tells us that we are special too, so we don’t mind that she talks about him.
“And that maybe, years from now when you too are gone….” Uh, what? Whatchoo talkin’ about Sparkle? I dunno about you, but I’m not “going” anywhere, am I? Right? Right?
Sparkle,
Your advice rocks!
Kiss
Nellie
What a wonderful post Sparkle!! Our Mom had a cat who came before and she will always miss her, but she loves us like we were her first kitties ever!! She is a great Mom!
Your TX furiends,
Beautiful post Sparkle and very wise advice. It rings very true to us.
PS: Happy 100th! Congrats!
Oh Sparkle, how did you get so wise??