Dear Sparkle,
My favorite window — the one that catches the best morning sunrays — has an extra-added benefit: these awesome blinds! I love chewing on them. They taste good and I can give my teeth a real workout on them. But something weird and icky happened to them the other day — I was hanging out and gnawing on them and they tasted awful! In fact, my tongue felt like it was burning! What happened, and what can I do to make them go back to the way they were?
Signed,
In a Blind — I mean, Bind
Dear In a Bind,
Uh-oh, your human must not have liked you chewing on those blinds because I bet she put hot sauce on them! That is one of those stupid tricks that humans trade over the internet. Talk about fun killing. The solution to this issue is pretty simple, but it takes a really long time to execute, so be forewarned. First off, you must stop chewing on the blinds for now. This is easy enough — they taste so bad that you probably have no desire to anyhow. You will have to take a fairly lengthy break from enjoying the blinds for two reasons — for the hot sauce to wear off, and to convince your human you are no longer going to chew the blinds. After a few weeks, very carefully taste them to see if the hot sauce is still there. Make sure you do this when your human is out of the house; if she catches you, she will probably apply fresh hot sauce and you will have to start the process all over again. Once you have discerned that the blinds are safe to chew once again, you can return to your regular habit, but cautiously. Only do it when your human can’t see you, or hear the noise the blinds make when you are chewing. I know it is a pain to have to sneak around like that, but if you don’t want your taste buds to be unpleasantly surprised once again, you had better make sure your human is none the wiser about your activities.

2022 Somali Cat Calendar Starring Summer Samba
See all of Summer’s merch at her her Zazzle Designercat Shop
OH MY GOSH, hot sauce?!?! What a terrific ide— er, uh, BAD BAD. Livvy, please move away from the screen… (*boot*).
She loves to chew on the blind cords. It’s like she goes into this kind of dazed trance. She ruined ALL my blinds, so I had to remove them all. I managed to salvage my $75 kitchen blinds, but… well let’s just say they aren’t exactly an asset to the new kitchen, lol.
Humans can be sooo mean! Our Mom puts two-sided tape on the chair we love to decorate with out claws. Just don’t know what we are going to do with her!
Happy Sunday,
~ Malachi and The Bunch
Hot sauce! I don’t think my human has thought of this. I don’t chew blinds, but it sounds like fun. I concentrate on food sampling.
Diamond
Just do it when they aren’t looking. That’s what I’d do.
Or, you can develop a taste for hot things. Julie likes jalapeno chips!
Ah, Sparkle, Sparkle, Sparkle! You’re losing your mojo! You missed the obvious solution: Take to chewing something MUCH WORSE (expensive hosiery, silk blouses, fancy linens) and your Human will practically BEG you to go back to blind-chewing! You can take that to the bank!
Excellent advice Sparkle! Me did not know about the hot sauce trick.
Kisses
Nellie
My mom tried something like that on the electrical cords to get me to stop chewing on them. I thought it was quite unfair.
Ernie
You forgot to tell In a Bind to find something to chew that will annoy the human even more. Than they’ll rather IAB chews on the blinds. HAH!
Hey, if this had been from a Texas Kitty like me, it would have read….lately the blinds have been tasting soooo yummy. Now if I could only get her to add some jalapenos to them….
It’s not very nice of humans to put hot sauce on good chomping spots. There’s got to be some revenge in there somewhere!
so many things to chew…surely you can find a sub until the blinds chill some????
Very, very wise advice. Obviously from someone who’s “been there”!
Oh yuck, that makes me cringe! Good advice as always Sparkle!
if you’re not allowed to chew on the blinds, chew on their shoes instead. that’s what buster does.
Oh dear the old hot sauce trick.
Well we kitties have our ways of getting our point across!
hehehe
purrs
>^,,^<
♥Abby♥Boo♥Ping♥Jinx♥Grace♥
That is quite brilliant.
Hot sauce on the blinds? What the heck?!
Good advice, Sparkle … just lull the stupid humans into complacency, right?
My human never did that!
Hot sauce?! What kind of madness is that!?
Stupid humans. Don’t they know that hot sauce is for burritos???
; ) Katie
Sparkle! You are so sneaky
Hope mom isn’t taking note. Honestly, there are enough things in our house to chew on, we think the hot sauce would make us give up on the blinds….
Wow, I don’t think I could ever hot sauce my cats!!! My blinds have chew marks too and Casper has nibbled through one of the cords but I could never resort to that.
I agree with efurrybuddy. Wait a bit and start chomping again. She’ll not know what hit her!
What were the blinds there for in the first place if it wasn’t so you could chew them?
Luv Hannah amd Lucy xx xx
I think that is cruel of humans to use hot sauce. Mine would NEVER do that to us! We think you should definitely be allowed to chew on the blinds if you wish, after all, it is your house!
Excellent advice again. I don’t know though. With hot sauce on them… I might be off blinds forever.
pawhugs, Max
We kitties think dat is a mean kitty trick. Maybe you need some tasty boxes or ornaments of your own to chew on. We kitties like to chew and rip paper also 😀
And be sure to put some of your kibble in their chocolate as revenge!