I thought I was in good with my human, but I am beginning to have my doubts. I mean, she is nice enough to me — she always buys me canned food in my favorite flavors and I know she is using her bonus money from work to replace my old cat tree with a new one. But even so, there are times when I wonder if she really likes me, especially when I try to lick her. She always pulls her hand or face away really quick and says it is “unsanitary.” I don’t get it — why is she rejecting my displays of affection?
Spurned and Burned
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your relationship with your human. She is just a little bit quirky, as are you. She is probably used to kitties who show affection by head butting, lying on top of her while she is sleeping, or sitting on the floor in the meatloaf position with their back ends facing her (a clear sign that we kitties are guarding our human from any predators). I don’t know the percentage of cats who regularly lick their humans, but I can assure you that you are in the minority. The cat before me did this, but I don’t. Binga does it — to everyone! — but Boodie has only done it a couple of times. Of course we kitties lick each other, but we are used to this sort of social interaction. Some humans don’t realize what an honor it is for them to be included in what is usually a cat-only ritual. And some, like your human, are concerned that it is “unsanitary.” And you know what? Your human has a point!
In spite of their efforts to stay clean by either immersing themselves in water, or letting water shower over them, humans are not always the cleanest creatures. They go out all day and touch all sorts of disgusting, chemical things — and then they touch their faces. Female humans even put all sorts of weird, smelly chemicals on their faces in this strange belief that it makes them more attractive. Seriously, think about it — do you really want to lick that gunk? So I actually think your human is being very sweet and protective of you. She does not want you licking anything unsanitary, which is why she is discouraging you from this activity. I hope I have helped you gain a new perspective on her strange and seemingly cold actions.