In Tuesday’s debate post, you may recall that I briefly mentioned the Feline Goodwill Ambassador Program, which has been in testing stage for many years now. Because it has been such a resounding success, and because I intend to make it a signature program of my tenure as Cat Ruler of the World (should I be elected), I felt that now was the time to reveal the details of this valuable and enriching endeavor.
Because so many humans are clueless about the true qualities and nature of cats, a group of researchers got together in secret to discuss how best to fight these unfair assumptions. We agreed that the most effective way to prove that cats are friendly, fun and great company (not cold and aloof as is wrongly thought) is to illustrate this firsthand. Now, humans who believe these falsehoods about cats are generally not inclined to seek out feline company, so the most logical approach would be instead to have the cats go to the humans. Thus the Feline Goodwill Ambassador Program began.
To populate the program, we researchers looked for cats who worked well with a broad spectrum of humans, had even temperaments, and who were currently homeless. After pinpointing likely candidates and having them sign a non-disclosure agreement, we sent them out to visit households at random and spread their geniality and goodwill far and wide. The results were interesting, and very gratifying.
Sixty-two percent of our Goodwill Ambassadors found permanent homes within five weeks of joining our program, 38 percent of which at the time had been cat-free households. Another 15 percent found homes within five months, and all but two percent of the remaining Goodwill Ambassadors found homes within six months to two years. A few of these cats took it upon themselves to approach the most hard-hearted humans, and while this challenge caused them to be homeless for a longer period of time, it was gratifying work to see them convince these people that cats were, in fact, desirable companions.
Now that I have revealed the details of the Feline Goodwill Ambassador program, I am also nullifying the nondisclosure agreement. Any and all members who participated in this are free to tell their stories! If you are one of our Goodwill Ambassadors who has found a home, or if you know one of our members personally, please tell your story below — I would like all cats to learn from your example!