Thankful Thursday: First World Kitty Problems

I am airing grievances and it is not even Festivus!

I know we blogging kitties do like to complain a lot! After all, our humans are always doing something unsatisfactory. But our problems are so small when you look at less fortunate kitties: the ferals who have to forage for food in a hostile world; the homeless cats in shelters and rescues who have no human at all to complain about; kitties who live with truly neglectful or even cruel humans — humans who might toss them out in the wintertime for scratching furniture or “inappropriate elimination,” or even maybe dump them at a kill shelter! So I thought I’d turn Thankful Thursday on its head today and vent about some First World kitty problems, just so we can see how ridiculous they are, and how much we have to be thankful for:

First World Kitty Problems:

• When my human holds me like a baby and kisses me against my will!

• When my human takes my nicely furred and scented-up cat bed and puts it in the wash!

• When Daylight Savings Time throws the humans off our feeding schedule. (Now, that is a real First World kitty problem!)

• If my human goes for a day without brushing me!

• All those car trips to the vet clinic for regular checkups!

• When my human says I can’t explore inside the closet, in the kitchen cabinets, or anywhere else she decides she does not want me to go!

• When Binga steals my leftover dinner and my human refuses to open another can because “it’s late!”

• When my human’s boyfriend pets me and he is not gentle enough!

• My cat tree is ratty and old my human still has not gotten me a new one!

• My human is notoriously lazy about “scooping!”

Now it’s your turn, kitties — tell me your First World kitty problems that pale next to the problems of less fortunate cats!

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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!
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Comments

  1. says

    We are thankful for most things BUT we don’t like visiting the vet, having worming drops and flea stuff put on our furs when we don’t have them in the first place (but are given the just in case an infected cat comes within 600 miles of our garden), or rain, or workmen doing stuff who we don’t know, and cold, wet days.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

  2. says

    My first world kitty problem is that too many veterinary professionals and people who work in cat rescue in the UK, think that it’s perfectly ok to kill any cat or kitten that tests positive for FIV. I am FIV+ and my ape had to get all feisty to stop the vets killing me.

    I would like all veterinary and rescue people in the UK to educate their clients properly about FIV, because with the right care we can live long and healthy lives, just like any other cat could and lots of companion apes would not allow their FIV cats to be killed if they knew the real facts and weren’t forced to drink the Kool-Aid about this virus.

    All my other woes pale into insignificance against this kitty problem

    Luff from
    Mungo

  3. says

    It just takes our Human way to long to get the food ready for all of us. For some reason she has to fix all the plates at once and we have to wait and wait and then some one comes in from the outside and so he or she gets to eat separately. Why is that? We could go on for a long time.
    Have a great day.

  4. says

    Yes, definitely lots of first-world kitteh probs here, too.
    1. There are only two lamps on at all times for us to sun under. (there are only two of us!)
    2. Our Mommy sometimes goes out.
    3. When it’s under freezing, Mommy denies us catio privileges. (it is OUR catio, after all!)

    We could go on and on! MOL!

    This definitely puts things in perspective, doesn’t it?

    Happy Thursday! XOXO

  5. emilykarn says

    :twisted: When My Person insists on putting flea drops on my neck every month during flea season even though I don’t have any fleas! Selleck and His Person, Emily.

  6. says

    When my Mom sees 2 red spots on my head and gets frantic and calls the vet (like she did today) which means I have to be on prednisonol for 10 days….Grrrr!! She needs to leave me and the vet alone! Love, Cody

  7. says

    I have a lazy scooper here, too. I feel your pain. Also, constantly trying to get me to give them a “high 15″ cause I can’t give them a “high 20.” It’s just me trying to stop them from touching my tummy, but they think it’s “Cute.” Ugh. – Crepes.

  8. says

    Our complaints are small, but they include:
    1. The Lazy Scooper.
    2. The Empty Food Bowls (they should be filled at all times)
    3. Johnny & Cash (the majority of us kitties do not like our new family members)

  9. says

    1. That we HAVE ta stay inside where its warm an dry MOST of the day.
    2. That we have ta get our teefs cleaned evry couple years so we dont lose anny.
    3. That we get shotted evry year at the vet just so we dont get sicky.

  10. Baby Tali says

    I am mostly thankful I have the stuffs some other kittehs doesn’t has..but I doesn’t like the light turned offs when I is sleeping under it!!!!! :evil:

  11. Ms. Phoebe's Mom says

    I’m sure my cats would agree with you Sparkle, and one they would add is:
    –My human has the nerve to make me wait for my share of the bowl of ice cream, until she finishes hers first. Such cruelty they must endure!

  12. says

    Scooping is a definite problem over here. I have some others.

    * The peeps keep giving my stuff to kitty charities but they never give their stuff away.
    * TW gives my kibble to the Park Cats because she doesn’t like me eating kibble.
    * I don’t get nearly enough playtime.
    * She feeds my “gut rot” cos it’s grain-free and “good for me” when I want Fancy Feast.

  13. FuzzMother says

    You are right, Sparkle, things could be worse, but:
    1. Feeding schedule is not quite a “schedule”. Sometimes Mom is late, but the food is great!
    2. Mom is actually a great scooper 98% of the time. She could sharpen up for the other 2%. The housecall vet said that unless he saw us (there are seven of us) he would not know Mom has cats (except for the houseful of cat furniture). MOL
    3. Mom never plays enough to suit us. We do have lots of toys, however. We just want her on the other end of the sticks and wands with feathers and sparkly things.
    4. We wish she did not squirm so much when we are trying to sleep in bed with her. She says it is due to “hot flashes”–we think she should turn up the heat even more. MOL
    5. We could go on and on, but we would run out of space…
    So you can see, Sparkle, our life here is a First World Living Kitty Hell. Purrs, Serafina, Arya, Natasha Velvetpaws,
    Bean, Iggy, Teddy, and Useless

  14. says

    We can’t go out on the catio if the temp is below 32 degrees F. We don’t get enough treats. The humans disturb our warm and comfortable sleeping positions at night when they get up to use the human litter box. We do not get catnip everyday. So…that’s enough. We really do know how lucky we are. Thanks for pointing it out to us, Sparkle. Purrs and paw-pats, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

  15. says

    Sparkle! Mes LOVES this post! Mes thinks me has the same list! Me is having a Sunshine Picnic and mes is inviting yous to beat the winter doldrums and come! Mes also is asking yous to brings some of that “Kitty Crack”! It sounds so delicious!

    Kisses
    Nellie

  16. says

    You’re right Sparkle, especially for number 2 and 7. Loupi would add : when Zorro goes down the stairs before him, and when Mum does’t play with us because “she’s already late for going to work”. Purrs

  17. says

    My Human goes to work instead of staying home with me like she should. My Human sometimes won’t open a third can of food for me if I don’t feel like eating either of the first two. The Human picks me up when I don’t really want her to.

    I love your post Sparkle and I do think about these things.

    I think #7 on your bullet list is pretty bad though. A kitty needs to EAT you know, especially a slender little girl like you.

  18. says

    We kitties at the Kitty Cat Chronicles can relate to all of your first world kitty problems, Sparkle! Another one we suffer through is when mom and dad forget to open the blinds before they go to work, and we can’t watch our kitty TV without climbing through them. It’s a rough life…

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