Some human misbehavior has come to my attention. Since humans are fond of the saying, “ignorance of the law is no excuse,” they should know that the same goes for Cat Rules. But just to make things perfectly clear, I will post some of the rules that have recently been broken. I hope this clarifies any misunderstanding.
Rule #32: Humans rub feline bellies at their own discretion; cats are not responsible for the results.
Rule #47: Anything left on the kitchen counter unattended automatically belongs to any and all resident cats.
Rule #75: Cats must always test the laundry before it is put away; they are the only ones who are qualified to judge whether it has been properly washed and dried.
Rule #158: If a cat has deemed a particular box to be a suitable toy, the box must not be discarded under any circumstances unless replaced by a box of equal or greater value.
Rule #377: If a human makes a tuna melt sandwich before feeding the cats, said cats are entitled to the tuna melt sandwich.
Rule #394: Cats are allowed to gnaw on human ears, but it is never permissible for a human to gnaw on a cat’s ears.
Rule #1561: It is permissible for a cat to accept a bribe. It is not permissible for the human to expect any results from said bribe.
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