Author Is Wrong: Humans, We Know You Are Not Cats!

Why does this even have to be discussed?

This article on CNET drew my attention to a recently released book by anthrozoologist John Bradshaw. In Cat Sense: How the New Feline Science Can Make You a Better Friend to Your Pet, Bradshaw looks back through the history of cat-human relations, examines our biology, and digs deeply into the feline mind in order to bust some longstanding myths about us kitties. But in doing so, he comes up with a myth or two of his own. The most glaring one? That we cats believe humans are big, rather inept cats!

My thoughts on this? Bradshaw, you wish! This guy must think we are as dumb as humans to believe humans bear any resemblance to cats whatsoever! Here are some of the obvious ways humans and cats are different, things that a cat would have to be crazy to overlook:

  • Humans smell completely different from cats. I sniff Binga, I smell cat. I sniff my human… ewww, it can only be that stinky human smell!
  • All that weird, bare skin. The texture is completely different from bare cat skin.
  • The sad inability of humans to walk properly on all four limbs.
  • Their even sadder lack of feline grace and athleticism. In spite of their much longer legs, very few humans are able to leap onto kitchen counters.
  • Humans speak a completely different language from cats, and they have a lot of difficulty understanding us.
  • Humans need metal, wood or plastic utensils to get food into their mouths. Or their hands. The only utensils we cats need are our teeth and our barbed tongues.
  • Humans look really, really different from cats. In case anyone didn’t notice.

So what we do think humans are? Our servants, duh! We ask for food and we are served. We use the litter box, they scoop. They come home with cool things for us, almost as if they read our minds. And since we cats are not completely authoritarian, we are often pleased to treat our servants as family. But yeah, it is pretty obvious humans are not cool enough to be cats. So don’t believe everything you read.

* * *
Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Share on TumblrShare via email Share


  1. says

    Once again Sparkle, you have shown another author and “expert”
    that they know nothing. We know what humans are and they are NOT cats!
    These poor humans. They keep trying…
    Purrs Georgia and Julie,
    and Angels Tiger and Tillie

  2. says

    Well Sparkle, we have to totally agree with you. We sure don’t think the humans are any where near to cats in any way. You nailed it.
    Take care and have a great day.

  3. says

    I don’t buy it either. I accept my fate as a tall hairless servant, but I prefer to consider myself a guardian as I make sure everyone is healthy and safe.

  4. says

    Would you believe one of The Cats That Came Before Me thought he was a big furry human? He tried to imitate humans! TW says I think she’s a cat cos I play with her, stalk her and bite her like I would a playmate. As if! I certainly don’t WASH her. Yuck!

  5. Katie Bella says

    Oh Sparkle, of course you are right on every level! Pfft! Who would EVEN think WE think humans are large cats. NOT!

  6. says

    I agree – never for a moment did I ever believe that my cats thought I was one of them. Even dogs don’t think humans are dogs – at least I don’t think so – you never know with dogs.

  7. says

    We agree with you totally, Sparkle! We heard that notion about big, dumb cats and we said “no no no!” We agree with the island cats – humans WISH they were cats!

  8. says

    😀 Yow Sparkle ya just busted dat Hu’man purrty guud!!
    Me will say me Mum CAN speek Birman n Siamese bery well….she iz a speshell one. She also nose her place purrfectlee n she wearz furry sweaterz so me will find her more appeelin!!
    She also nose when to bring home food or nip wifout me tellin her!
    Amazin Mum <3 (it'z all in da trainin; phankz Aunti Mingflower fer makin Mum da kitteh sirvent she iz today) 😉
    Lub ya Sparkle frum Nylablue xx

  9. says

    It reminds us of what Mark Twain said, “If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.” Enough said!

  10. says

    Where do silly humans get these weird ideas? We all know Mom is not a big cat. Just look at Julius. He loves all of us mancats and did from the first day he came out of the safe room, but he’s still scared of Mom. That proves he (and we) don’t think of her as a cat.

  11. says

    TBT here: I am not a cat. I don’t pretend to be, and could never be one. My cats cou;d not be humans. I enjoy the company of cats because we complement each other. I am not them and they are not me. And vive la’ diference!!!

  12. says

    Oh My Cat!
    We were discussing that over our dinner just yesterday. Buddy was laughing that we would NEVER think our Dad was a cat. We may treat him like furmaly but…
    We need to keep these self styled experts honest

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>