Author Is Wrong: Humans, We Know You Are Not Cats!

Why does this even have to be discussed?

This article on CNET drew my attention to a recently released book by anthrozoologist John Bradshaw. In Cat Sense: How the New Feline Science Can Make You a Better Friend to Your Pet, Bradshaw looks back through the history of cat-human relations, examines our biology, and digs deeply into the feline mind in order to bust some longstanding myths about us kitties. But in doing so, he comes up with a myth or two of his own. The most glaring one? That we cats believe humans are big, rather inept cats!

My thoughts on this? Bradshaw, you wish! This guy must think we are as dumb as humans to believe humans bear any resemblance to cats whatsoever! Here are some of the obvious ways humans and cats are different, things that a cat would have to be crazy to overlook:

  • Humans smell completely different from cats. I sniff Binga, I smell cat. I sniff my human… ewww, it can only be that stinky human smell!
  • All that weird, bare skin. The texture is completely different from bare cat skin.
  • The sad inability of humans to walk properly on all four limbs.
  • Their even sadder lack of feline grace and athleticism. In spite of their much longer legs, very few humans are able to leap onto kitchen counters.
  • Humans speak a completely different language from cats, and they have a lot of difficulty understanding us.
  • Humans need metal, wood or plastic utensils to get food into their mouths. Or their hands. The only utensils we cats need are our teeth and our barbed tongues.
  • Humans look really, really different from cats. In case anyone didn’t notice.

So what we do think humans are? Our servants, duh! We ask for food and we are served. We use the litter box, they scoop. They come home with cool things for us, almost as if they read our minds. And since we cats are not completely authoritarian, we are often pleased to treat our servants as family. But yeah, it is pretty obvious humans are not cool enough to be cats. So don’t believe everything you read.

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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!
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