Most of you already know that June is Adopt-A-Cat Month, and this year I think we kitties should step up our game. There are lots of homeless cats out there that need our help. So I hope you will all put on your thinking caps and come up with new ways to promote cat adoption — and that those of you who blog will write posts about what you come up with.
I did some deep thinking (in between naps) this weekend and realized that we cats need to market ourselves the same way anyone or anything else gets marketed — humans need to know “what’s in it for me?” It is the classic “features versus benefits” argument. Humans don’t care about our stunning looks, cute antics or ninja skills unless it is going to make their lives better somehow. So in that spirit, I have come up with 10 ways that we cats benefit humans and enhance their lives! I hope you can find some talking points here next time somebody waffles about adopting a cat.
1. Cats make great alarm clocks, waking up humans right on time, at the same time every morning. Even better, we do not have snooze alarms.
2. With our soft, touchable fur and calming purrs, cats are great stress-relievers.
3. Cats are great help around the house. We will supervise everything you do, especially if it involves boxes, wrapping paper or food. Oh, except for vacuuming and certain other domestic chores which are beneath us.
4. Cats are creatures of discernment; the kind of love we offer is deeply considered and not given lightly. It is a much richer, more complex bond than one has with any other creature. Including humans, who tend to be too complex and often lacking in richness.
5. Cats are living, breathing home decor, with more grace and beauty than the vase that we knocked off the mantle. In fact, replacing your breakables with cats creates a stunning look for your home.
6. Cats will teach you how to hunt, if you let us.
7. Cats will watch even the worst reality TV show with you and never disparage your taste in programming.
8. If you have never aspired to a leadership position, a cat makes the perfect pet because you will never be our boss. In fact, bossing us around is futile.
9. You never have to buy clothes for a cat. In fact, we prefer that you don’t.
10. Cats constantly remind you that rules are made to be broken.