The Christmas Report, and a Little Boxing

It's not often I get to have presents all to myself!

Amazingly, here I am with all the presents — alone! This is what I call a Christmas miracle!

They can hear the rattle of wrapping paper from the other end of the house!

Well, that miracle lasted about a minute… just until the first present started to get unwrapped. They got excited because there was a bird on the box.

Dumbest.Gift.Ever

Sadly, it was not a real bird. It was “Perfect Polly,” a motion-activated, plastic parakeet. “Life Size and Very Realistic,” the box said. Whoever wrote that copy is not a cat. This thing is so fake that it makes Hollywood starlets look silicone and botox-free.

If it is not edible, she is not interested

Boodie was not impressed either. The worst part is that it has been chirping all day. Somebody (i.e., my human) needs to shut this thing up.

A defective gift? Seriously?

My human must have been on some warped bird trip because the next gift was also a fake bird. This parrot was supposed to make noise too… and it was supposed to go to my Secret Paws partner. Except when my human brought it home, she discovered it was defective. So did she return it to the store? No, she wrapped it up as a gift for us! That is embarrassingly lame, and I am glad you are all a witness to it. Somekitty needs to create a Tumblr for Human Shaming.

She is usually smarter than this

Binga did not get the memo about human shaming. Apparently she likes this thing.

No need to cuddle up to a floor heater or a fidgety human!

Finally, I can put my paw of approval on something — this microwaveable Kitty Cuddle Pal will be nice to curl up with on cold winter mornings!

I am not impressed by her left hook

Since this is being posted on Boxing Day, I thought I should include a little boxing before getting to the final gift.

It was fun, at least for a little while

It’s a FroliCat Pounce Rotating Cat Teaser, featuring Marshal Maus, who moves around in weird unpredictable patterns. Marshal Maus was actually kind of cool!

Not only does she agree, she is a toy hog

Binga agrees. In fact, I have been waiting my turn to play with it for a ridiculously long time.

No batteries necessary!

But Binga didn’t get the best toys of the day — the box that the FroliCat came in, and the pipe cleaner my human had off camera to help me pose!

Disclaimer: The links to the Kitty Cuddle Pal and FroliCat are affiliate links, which means if you click through to the PetCo website and buy them, I will get a commission. I only included the links because I liked them and thought you might too.

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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!
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Comments

  1. says

    Sure looks like a great Christmas at your house. Well done. The Frolic cat toy looks like fun. Seems to us that those birds need to be deaded especially if the scream all day long. Take care.

  2. Katie Bella says

    Fur babies are like human ones. A box, some pipe cleaners, a few pots…they’re good and so are the kittie babies. xoxoxo

  3. says

    ha ha- those birdies are a real loser. It’s funny, M was thinking about getting onr or two for me, but now she is happy she didn’t. That kitty cuddle pad sure does look nice tho and the price is reasonable. Might have to consider getting that one.

  4. Rachael says

    Merry Christmas and Boxing Day to Sparkles, Binga and Boodie & to your human parents !!

    It is my Birthday today on Boxing Day!

    Our cats Rusty and Alfie Mittens got a new electric drinking water fountain , some toys and a great scratching pad Afie will not share with Rusty. What are your thoughts Sparkles? We should of got them both one? We thought so we will go out and get Rusty one.
    Love from our family to yours,
    Rachael Mike Rusty ( he is an Abyssinian) and Alfie Mittens <3

  5. says

    …the Frolicat toy looks super fun!!! We have never tried that one before! As for the squawking fake bird, it you figure out how to shut it up, let me know. It just might work on Waffles too.

    Meow-Meow-Meow…Merrrrrry Christmas-a-day-late!!!
    We hope yours was wonderful : )
    love,
    Glogirly, Katie & Waffles

  6. says

    I might go a bit crazy with a constantly squawking bird around – I don’t blame you there Sparkle.
    The Farm cats had a really good time with the boxes around here too. Their presents did not arrive in time for Christmaaa. The publicist is very upset…

  7. says

    Too bad about Polly. But I understand they never shut up in real life, either. Maybe she should be called “Caroline.”

    Anyway, the rest of the stuff looks pretty cool!

  8. says

    you got some nice presents, Sparkle! after your reaction to the parakeet, it is proly good the parrot toy is defective :) at least it has feathers :) the little cuddle pal looks nice. Maybe if we got our mom a microwave, she’d get us one of those…
    Have fun playing with everything!

    Pip, Smidgen, Minnie, Hollie

  9. Baby Tali says

    I woulda killed that squawky bird Sparkle..Binga might kills it for ya..I’m gonna tells Humom that I wants one a them Kitty Cuddle Pal thingys.. :roll:

  10. says

    WOW! You sure got a lot of presents at your house! We got a couple of catnip toys, but the cats were just sorta passed out all day, which is sorta typical. We were happy that Grace just came out to visit with us for awhile on Christmas day. Lucky us!

    Wishing you and everyone at your house a VERY Happy New Year, Sparkle!

  11. Pasha says

    That lame birdie will be good for those days when you want to take your frustration out on something :)
    Enjoy your great gifts kitties!!!

  12. says

    OMC! You need to come over here! I don’t know about those gifts. A few years ago my boycat furrend sent me one of those reheatable cuddle toys to take his place since he lives in CA.

  13. says

    That last toy looks pretty cool. It’s a new one we haven’t seen before. Are you revealing your posing secret with that pipe cleaner? We actually got some of those in our stockings this year, and we really aren’t too sure what the big deal is. Maybe Mom will try using them to get us to pose. We say, “Good luck with that!” Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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