Messy Desk Monday

My human has been very busy lately and she has let her desk get out of control. This is unsatisfactory because I have less room to supervise her. In fact, if I did not know better (she really is busy!), I would suspect she has done this on purpose to make it difficult for me to keep track of her work habits. Humans do have problems with authority, you know.

Because she has not done a thing about the mess on her desk, I am forced to take matters in to my own paws. So this week, I plan to:

1. Make flying leaps onto the desk to clear it of all unnecessary papers.

2. Shred that unending length of calculator tape, and maybe chew on it for good measure.

3. Bat all the pens onto the floor and use them as cat toys until they get lost. She does not need pens anyway. She can write on her laptop.

4. Pull open the center drawer of the desk and remove the pipe cleaners and guitar strings so she is forced to play with me. Yes, I know exactly where she keeps them.

5. Surreptitiously pull the cord out of the laptop and hide it so the battery runs down and she has to take a break and give me treats.

I think this sounds like a great plan, but I am sure some of you have more suggestions. If you do, feel free to share!

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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

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  1. says

    Most helpful advice, which I will act upon. Another good one is to nap on lap with extended claw. Guaranteed to allow for uninterrupted sleep indefinitely! >^..^<

  2. says

    We definitely agree with the idea of knocking all the pens and pencils down. At least Audrey does. I think your idea of pulling out the cord to the laptop is genius. Definitely you should constantly rustle the papers and make her nervous that you will cause her to lose some of them. How about hacking up a hairball all over everything Then she will decide it is better to file all the appers away.

  3. BrucesMom says

    My humom is mad at me. I was on the top of the hutch part of her desk, giving her my best upside down look that she so loves, when I accidentally fell off. I knocked over her cup of coffee. It soaked her night gown, splashed on her key board, the floor and on me. She yelled at me, told me to never get up there again. She didn’t even ask if I was OK. Now she is mumbling something about a sticky space bar. She still hasn’t asked me if I am OK.

  4. says

    First you knock as much as you can off, then you lie down on the rest of it. It is good to lay your head on the computer keyboard too. That’s what Ichiro does.

  5. says

    you forgot about stretching yourself out across the keyboard! That works!
    My Mom’s desk was the same way til last Wednesday when Mom spent 3 hrs cleaning and organizing her office!
    Tell her to get moving!
    Love, Cody

  6. says

    Oh those all sound like great things to do and I bet cha that will get that her attention and quickly. Just have an escape route in mind. Put Binga up there. Take care.

  7. says

    Those are all great ideas Sparkle! We also like to lay on our mommy’s lap with our head on her hand so she can’t type so must pet us. Sit on her chair so she gets a numb butt so will play with us to try to get us out of the chair. Sit between her and the computer. Or Angel’s favorite is to sit in the hallway and cry and cry until she gets up to follow her to the treat stash.

  8. says

    Target likes to lie on the mouse. Oh, and he lies on the mobile phone so that he gets a massage when it rings and I can’t find it. That’s always fun!

  9. says

    I know you are small (me too) but even a small cat can cover a lot of desk territory if they strew their furry limbs about all helter-skelter!

    Sparkle, I loved your term “Playkitty”! It’s purrfect! That’s ‘zacklee what I am!! May I borrow it?

  10. says

    Dear Sparkle,
    My personal favorite is to knock the mouse beind the desk! That way she has to move the desk and that usually means if it is NOT cleaned off, all the stuff falls on the floor!

  11. says

    Sparkle, that sounds like a great plan! We rearrange our mom’s desk, and one suggestion we have is to make sure lots of things end up on the floor around the desk so she can’t even get to it! Then she’ll just go into another room and she’s all yours!

  12. says

    Well Sparkle, it sounds to me like you have this situation well in hand…I mean paw. Go for it…..and of course let us know if things don’t quite turn out the way you want them to so we can all pitch in and pay your bail and spring you from kitty cat jail……..OR………let us know that your desk clearing technique worked so WE can do the same!

    Kitty Hugs, Sammy

  13. says

    What is with humans getting themselves busy all the time?!
    What I do sometimes is that I lie down on her papers where I can (not always easy) and I gently push piles of paper so they would fall on the floor, freeing some room for me.
    If I get caught, well, I just give her my indignant look (the one that says “look what I needed to do to have just a little comfort”).

  14. says

    I agree, sometimes a cat just has to be firm and put its paw down. It’s no good when a human has so much stuff on their desk that there’s no room for us to sit on it.

  15. says

    Oh Sparkle,
    You are definitely a cat who takes matters into her own paws!
    Good luck with your plans, but don’t tell my kitties about them. One of the year-old kittens, Kalle-Mathilda, has already become an expert at running into my workroom at lightning speed if I open the door ever so slightly, and then climbing up to the top of the bookcase where she reigns as queen.
    All because she reads your blog!
    Best wishes,

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