The Lamest-Ever Christmas Present

Over the years my human has come up with some pretty lame gifts. There were the stocking stuffers that were a little too cheap…

I think she got them for free from somewhere

And there was the year she gave us that horrible Bubble Kitty gun. It was supposed to shoot catnip-scented bubbles. All it did was scare us — we all ran away when we heard that awful grinding-plastic whine.

I knew it was gonna blow before she even opened it up.

But I think the absolute worst Christmas gift was the time she brought home that “Thing in a Bag” thing.

"Cats can't resist" my eye!

Here is proof of how bad it was! Funny enough, it turned out to be one of the most popular videos on my channel. (Go here if you can’t see the embedded video below:

A closer look at the packaging revealed why it was such a lame cat toy. Honestly, how would this company know jack about us cats?

Maybe they should have called themselves "Unhappy Cat Toys."

I’m part of Tribal Blog’s Carnival this week! Stop by the next blogger to see what lame gift a human received:
My Worst Christmas Present Ever Used to Belong to a Dead Woman by Cardiogirl

TribalBlogs Carnival

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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

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  1. says

    Sparkle, that is hysterical. Those are horrible presents. The bag thing sounds like it has a woodpecker inside of it. We sure would run like crazy away from that one. Way to noisy. You did well to stay as long as you did. Hope you have a great week.

  2. says

    That toy in a bag reminds us of the story our Bridge angels shared with us, of this awful battery operated crazy ball that went in a bag and made it flop all over. It cleared the room!

    Pee ess…my mom loves your floors. I know, she is easily amused.

    • says

      They are soft (not hard) wood plank floors – totally and utterly impractical. When my human dresses fancy, she has to put on her spikey heels in the carpeted hallway, or in the kitchen. The rug in the living room is so she doesn’t trip on the grooves between the planks when she works out. But she loves that floor anyway, and thinks it’s totally awesome too.

  3. says

    That is a really lame present! Hilarious video so it makes the gift better, but still pretty lame. If they had put a mouse in the bag I bet it would have been a great gift.

  4. says

    Sparkle, I know you don’t really have facial expressions, but your body language spoke volumes as you slowly sauntered away from it for the last time.

    It looks like you gave it the college try though.

  5. says

    Oh Sparkle. I think some cats would have really dug that thing in a bag. You are just way to smart to fall for a gag gift. Great show of disinterest in the video.

  6. says

    That is a funny video Sparkle! We know mom had thought about that toy before but didn’t get it – it looks like that is a good thing! We haven’t ever heard of the bubble gun thing – but some of us are afraid of bubbles, so having it make lots of noise just sounds like an awful idea!!

  7. says

    We bought something like that for our kitties – they pretty much had the same reaction. Zeke doesn’t play; BB prefers crumpled up paper but Frankie does like her small cat-nip stuffed mousies.

  8. says

    My cats would have had a field day with it…as long as the vibration thing was turned off. Their favorite toy is a paper bag left laying on the floor. Or even a cardboard box to hide in.

    • says

      Bags and boxes are awesome toys. But it’s important for humans to spend money on us sometimes. It helps them to value us. So it’s as much for them as it is for us.

  9. says

    I never really got the whole pet present thing – kind of like the whole baby present thing – They don’t have a clue, you spend way too much (except for the cheap ones) and they’d rather play with the wrapping paper and boxes anyway. Poor Sparkle.

    • says

      We actually get really excited when my human brings us presents! When she sets them on the floor for us, we are all over them, and we enjoy both the gifts (unless they are lame) AND the things they came in! But I agree with you about babies – they have NO idea what is going on.

    • says

      They were even less interested in it than I was. Well, actually it’s more like they were equally is uninterested, but I was the only one who was forced into being filmed with the thing.

  10. says

    That is too funny! It would probably scare our two and then it would mysteriously disappear, like all their other toys (only to show up months later in the strangest of places). I could also safely say that they would find the box it came in much more interesting then the… Thing in a Bag.

  11. says

    I didn’t think you scared of that toy, Sparkle. You just weren’t very interested in it. You should tell your Mommy to research toys more before she buys them.

    Although, even when I do that and buy a really good toy, usually only one out of my three cats will like it — and it’s not usually the one it was intended for. Go figure!

    You cats are so enigmatic!

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