Did you know that Labor Day was specifically invented for us cats? I bet you didn’t because some humans have tried to get out of its original intention. See, “Labor Day” was meant to be set aside for humans to do nothing but labor for us cats! It’s so important, in fact, that many jobs let humans have the whole day off, all the better for them to cater to us! But humans are naturally lazy and want to get out of anything that takes extra effort, so they have been pretending that on Labor Day, they don’t have to work at all. Not true! If your humans are not spending every second of Labor Day focusing on you and your desires, then they are shirking a very important duty! Don’t let this happen. Here is a list of things your human should be doing on this, your special day:
- Barbecuing up your favorite meats: chicken, salmon and all sorts of other yummy delicacies. Maybe corn on the cob — with butter!
- Setting out your favorite cat treats in festive Labor Day dishes.
- Opening up your Labor Day presents with you. What, you did not know you were supposed to get Labor Day gifts? Your human has been cheating you. Luckily, most pet stores and markets are open today so your human can rush off and buy you a load of last-minute gifts.
- Labor Day Games — your human should be bringing out Da Bird, Neko Flies or some little mousies for games of fetch (as in they toss the toy and fetch it after you are done chasing it)! And they are not allowed to stop playing with you until you tell them you are done.
- When you decide it is nap time, they have to remain totally silent so as not to disturb you. If they choose to keep you company by napping with you, they are not allowed to move until you wake up.
- Two words: No Cameras.
I bet your humans are thinking that this sounds like a lot of work. Of course it is! Why do you think it is called Labor Day?