One of my favorite toys is a Teddy bear — I kill him almost every day! And when he is dead, I drag him over to my food dish and set him right next to it while I eat. For some reason, my human doesn’t like this. She always looks really disgusted and then she throws him out of the kitchen. A couple of times she has just kicked him through the doorway. She is so rude! Why is she doing this, and how can I make her treat me and my kill with respect?
Fierce Indoor-Only Hunter
Dear F-I-O Hunter,
Your human isn’t being rude so much as she is being ignorant. She does not understand that all food tastes better after you have made a fresh kill. It’s a ritual many kitties enjoy, whether they are killing something that is actually alive, or as in your case, dealing death to something that isn’t actually living and breathing. Unfortunately, like many humans faced with cultures and rituals different from their own, yours is treating your game with disdain and disrespect.
I think this is the real question we have here: is your human teachable? Is there some way of letting her know that your habit is something pleasurable, and quite natural for a kitty to enjoy? Or maybe it’s not what you are doing, but instead, your use of your Teddy bear that upsets her. Here is an experiment: one of these days, instead of killing your Teddy bear, kill an unsuspecting bug, rat or lizard that has found its way into the house and put that by your food dish. Your human’s reaction will tell you if it’s the creature or the ritual that bothers her. If she does not give you admiring looks and shower you with praise, then clearly she has issues and I’m not sure if your problem is solvable. There are times when you must “agree to disagree,” although if she is going to continue to be a pain about your ritual, I think it’s only fair to rub it in occasionally; leave the Teddy bear (or even better, a formerly-living dead thing) next to her food dish next time!