My human came home with a kitten a few days ago and guess what? I actually like the kid! He’s funny and fun and since he’s a Maine Coon mix and already four months old, he’s not too small or fragile. I can tell already we are going to be great pals. So what’s the problem? My human is the problem! She is getting in the way. Because the little guy is new and still so young, he needs to be shown the ropes and taught right from wrong. For example, last night he jumped on the bed like he belonged there — which he doesn’t, quite yet. So I hissed at him and bopped him one in the face. From the way my human acted, you would have thought I had tried to murder him: “How could you?” “He’s just a baby!” etc., etc. The kitten? He jumped off the bed and 30 seconds later he had forgotten all about the whap and was digging a dust bunny out from under the dresser (he does have weird ideas about what constitutes a toy). Another time, the kitten stole one of my toys so I jumped him — and my human screamed at me! What can I do to make her stop coddling this kitten? It can’t be good for him, and it is certainly annoying me.
Ticked Off Top Cat
Humans (yours especially) don’t get the whole kitten training thing. It is a good thing you do, otherwise this pipsqueak would grow up spoiled and self-centered and he would never understand that since you came first, you set the pace in your relationship with him. One of the issues here is that humans never whap their offspring, or at least it is very much frowned upon. I know you may disagree with this approach, but it actually works for humans because their thinking processes are deep and complex. Whapping a human kitten might cause him to grow up with all sorts of unhappy psychological problems. We cats are fortunate in that our thinking contains far fewer shades of gray, and we are pretty much surface creatures: what you see is what you get (with an occasional surprise to keep things interesting). So whapping, or even a full body slam when deemed necessary, works just fine for feline youngsters. Your human, not realizing that cats think so differently from humans, doesn’t get that.
Your best plan is to establish a partnership with the kitten (with you as senior partner, of course). This should be easy to do, because even though you are doling out the discipline, you are also letting him do the really fun stuff that your human doesn’t like: jumping on the kitchen counters, climbing up the curtains, noshing on carelessly left out food, etc. The kitten will soon figure out who really has his back. And by the way, if your human gets upset at any of the kitten’s so-called “misbehavior” and starts getting loud, maybe you should give her a whap to keep her in line.
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