My human had a little birthday celebration for me. She's seriously into birthdays - hers isn't 'til almost the end of July and she's had it marked on the calendar since, like, May. See, with this birthday thing you're supposed to get really incredible gifts and be treated special all day. I don't get the part about being treated special - I'm special every day, after all. But the gifts I can understand - I thought maybe I'd finally get that huge cat tree I keep dreaming of.

Well, my birthday didn't turn out like I thought it would. First my human made me wear this really stupid ribbon that said, "I am 1." I felt like an idiot.

Then she pulled out my gift. Obviously it was too small to be a cat tree. I figured it was some new kind of toy, so I started to play with it before realizing that the gift was actually inside. I figured since it was my birthday it had to be something really, really good.

It was a new collar.

What a burn! It wasn't even a toy! Granted, I'm glad to get that cheap, old collar off (in fact, I'd chewed the end to bits). And the new collar is soft suede with metal hearts, but geez, what an anticlimax.

This is the part that I found especially ludicrous - it came in a Tiffany box. Yeah, it's a nice collar, but I know it didn't come from Tiffany's. This really makes my human look like something of a poseur.

So I've come to the conclusion that birthdays are highly overrated. I may skip mine next year if this is what they're all like. The really dumb thing is Binga hung out the whole time, and you could tell she wanted a birthday really bad (we don't even know for sure what day hers is - that's what happens when you're a shelter rescue). So my human gave her the bow to make her happy.

»July 2003»
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